God did that year suck!

I once joked with someone that the years of my life is the opposite of Star Trek films... with me, it's the even numbered ones that SUCK. Granted, that's not a fair statement since I actually liked many of the odd numbered Trek films, personally. But that's not my point...

Let's take a walk down memory lane and examine just how much this year sucked.

I started off in the beginning stages of what could be an interestnig relationship. We had spent xmas eve together and would talk for hours online and in person and such. She alraedy had plans for NYE (which sucked since I helped her pick outfit and knew she would look frickin HOT!) and I had already made tentative plans with Kevin. Anywho, I would never actually see her, except for a brief glimpse in the mall, this year. Amazingly, a running joke between us was suddenly taken in the completely wrong context and she flipped out. Instead of simply talking to me or reminding herself she was, I dunno, DRUNK when she got mad... she simply ran.

During this time I had just started a new job at Kemper. It was ok but was turning out to be a lot more responsibility and work than what they were paying me for. The job was still kind of new... was a combo of two or three other positions, really... and the methods and procedures were still being ironed out. That just made it even MORE frustrating. But it was a new social environment and I was meeting new people.

After that debacle, I had been put off dating a bit so I wasn't actively searching... so of course this meant people found ME. I came across two people, one in a relationship that she desperately wanted out of... the other was recently out of one and was just wanting to hang out and see what happens. The former I had actually talked to online for almost 2 years by this point but was never allowed to meet her. The latter was just nuts. The former was a pot head, the latter was a recovering coke nut.

I also finally heard back from a woman I was deeply interested in from the previous year who had gone off thinking we would never get serious... prolly the fact that we never managed to really get out of her apartment all that often during our relationship. Not for lack of trying, mind you, so don't judge me! We began chatting again and she would tell me about her new guy and whatnot.

I was becoming more serious with my old net chum and wanted to start seriously dating her. She told me she had broken it of with her ex and we seemed to be doing ok... she had stopped smoking pot (go check out the Great Experiment blog set, part 1, for more on her). The other one had gone full on flake and was out of the picture...and turned out to NOT be a recovering coke nut after all. The "recovering" part was another in a long line of lies.

Anywho... job was going ok but I felt the first few tinges of possible burnout and me and the manage were working out possible ways to get me help. I was starting to talk with a co-worker more... hung out a few times... I ws never interested in her for more than bar buddy but she ended up proving too wild even for that. Ultimately, a misunderstanding would cause her to believe I was telling people stories about us. The only stories I told people was that I was truly not interested in her at all. Somehow this got warped into "Yeah, I fucked her". And people wonder why I always test the grapevine. But thru her I DID get to meet another co-worker who would become a big part of this year later on.

The girl I was most interested and I hd agreed to keep it light and fluffy for the time being so I did try and date. She met some of my friends and we sure were ACTING like we were serious. Turns out she was apparently just wanting the excuse to continue hanging with the ex. Ultimately she would go back to him. Several times. Good thing I kept dating.

I met a nice woman while trynig to hook my buddy kevin up with her. We had gone out to try and redo NYE since he had gotten food poisoning. The psycho chick went with us because we ran into her at D&B when she was celebrating her b-day and friends were wimping out on her so she tagged with us. She helped pick out the chick and even made the first move. Yadda yadda and next thing you know me and her are texting over the next few weeks, meet, hang out and we've chatted off and on ever since. That was a bright spot except for her never-endng quest to just toy with me and tease me. She's a good flirt and tends to fall asleep any time we were supposed to hang out. Oh, well... still a cool chick.

(Sorry if some of this is out of order... this is how I remember the year.)

I tried dating a co-worker.. we were just supposed to be fuck buddies... she agreed so don't give me grief... hell, it was more HER idea!!! Anywho, I made the mistake of actually telling her I was starting to LIKE her... we had a really intense conversation one day and it triggered something in me that saw her as more than just a pretty face. She apparently was also starting to like ME but was bothered by it and began to run and hide from me. She lied about things to break our plans or ran late for bullshit reasons (thought the reasons she gave ME were always serious.. the truth was not).

I was still interested in my net buddy and it finally came down to her deciding to go back to him. Later she would come to me and tell me her B-C pill was a lot less than effective and I would be back into the picture... but HE was still the one getting to see her and talk to her and help her thru the abortion of MY child. And because of how much the ordeal pained HIM she decided she simply HAD to give him another chance. Yep... no lie. She still found sex with him repugnant... hence how she knew it was MINE... but wanted to give it all another serious chance... after all, the previous two years wasnt nearly long enough a test run. Yes, I'm bitter. I feel I earned it.

I got a chance to be with my dream girl. It was nice. The dream will always be better. We're still friends. Awesome.

I met a very pleasant and attractive woman off yahoo personals/myspace who we will call A. I thought we hit it off. She disagreed after a while. Oddly enough.. and this is something I have never understood... A once got mad and broke up with me, so to speak, because I fell asleep before she got off adn didnt' call or email a good night to her. She took this to be a bad sign and got upset. And yet, apparently, during all that time dating she never thought we were a good match.

Women... y'all are confusing little nutjobs, ain'tcha?

Well, given that I enjoyed our company it was painful to see her go. But thru a strange turn of events, I had begun to hang around another co-worker, we'll call her C. It was fun and exciting. We were keeping it light, of course, since she was still with her boyfriend.

Ok, what? Jesus... it's not easy for me to find COMPLETELY single women anymore, ok? Good god, get off my back!

Anyho, we kept it light because of that. But see, she was friends with that other co-worker, we'll call her B... the one who went into hiding? She had been dating otehr people all along... some seriously, some not so much. I thought we had secured a friendship since she would get amd at me... VERY mad... but would always return. Usually whenever something was going wrong in her current relationship. Sh found out about me hanging with C, her former friend (and cube mate... shhhh dont judge!) and became irate. B was seriously ANGRY at me for it. "You and C are gonna start dating and fall in love adn all that!!" This was after she found out we were gonna watch a movie together. Our first hanging out opportunity. Yeah. So she kept it up like that for a while. It all came to a head and her "true" feelings were revealed. She was angry because she was jealous because, she claims, she truly did care for me VERY deeply. This was a shock to me. For me, the choice was simple... we could start dating. Because of what happened last time, I didn't want to be exclusive... besides B was still seeing this other guy and still obsessed over her ex.

And me and C were simply keeping it light. We had even talked about backing off a bit to make sure casual dating was ok.

This leads right into the LAST BLOG. It truly does. You can go read that one right now and come back if you need to.

Also during this time I was trying to get a different job. I was truly burned out on the other. It didn't matter if it was at the same company or not. I found one... the transition proved so fucking stressful I almost quit... and once almost got fired... and I felt swallowed up in a mire of ignorance and stress. I don't like that at work!

Plus, mom was getting worse and worse. My sister that lives with mom was also recovering from all her heart issues. My sister/roommate was drinking more and more and we were getting on each others nerves more often than not. My brother had vanished out of embarrassment... he didn't call his daughter on her 21st b-day or his son AT ALL. We found out he was a deadbeat dad, too.

My own health hasn't been all that peacy either... I got sick WAY too much and out of some stupid plan back before 01/01/06, I did't get med benefits. I wasn't supposed to be staying at Kemper for more than January so I wanted all the money I could get while I waited for WaMu to remove hiring freeze... I already had been GIVEN the job, I was told, they jsut couldn't hire me.

But the biggest problem in my life? That's right... WOMEN!! See, what sucked is that BOTH of them were telling me the SAME things about the other. Neither believed the other was actually interested in ME. It was a competition. They didn't want the "prize"... they simply wanted to beat the other person. "B is just worried that I (C) will tell you secrets about her!" "C is just jealous!" On and on it went. I was of the mindset that they were BOTH right.

Sadly, I was also easily convinced OTHERWISE. I gave B a chance... tried to. But neitehr one of us could forget what had happened before. Her lying... me benig with C.

During all this initial mess I was still, for some reason, interested in A. It became clear that A was never gonna happen so it did leave me with just B & C. I made a choice... based on logic and, well, ORDER of arrival... first come and all that... and then proceeded to have one big rollercoaster ride that ended with me squished.

I have no idea what to believe. Who is right? Who is wrong? Did I make the right choice in the beginning? Doesn't really matter since B is with someone she really likes. Granted, it was within like a week of us ending but still... I AM happy for her. I thought I could believe what C was saying... for the most part. But recent revelations have brought EVERYTHING into doubt.

My new years eve last night was painful... tear filled... I tried to go out... ended up feeling like shit and left before the midnigt hour. I saw some fireworks driving home, though. I was invited to a small gathering with some friends... good friends... that I dont see nearly enough... but I would've been piss poor company so I didn't go. They continued to invite me over even well after midnight but I couldn't do it. I went home, took some melatonin... kept taking it until they were all gone and passed out. I woke up with a mild headache, several texts, and no energy to do much of anything today.

BUT!!!!

Work is getting easier. A has said she wants to hang out some time... give a friendship a try. Mom has stopped her decline in health. I feel better PHYSICALLY though I stilll don't have time to walk like I want to. So maybe... just maybe 2007 will be a good year. Or it could break the pattern like Star Trek: Nemesis did.