I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes...
Why can't people get rid of the crap in their life when they KNOW it's bad for them? I talked about smoking and drinking and drugs to get to the main thrust when it comes to BAD addictions: PEOPLE!
Some people like to use the "baby daddy/mama" excuse for maintaining contact with people best described as "Life Pollution". They HAVE to stay in touch because they have kids together. I can buy this to an extent. It's an old story... parents staying married "for the kids". But we're talking about people who AREN'T married and only really NEED to see other during the kid exchange. I can accept wanting to stay on good terms, after all, you have no control over what that person is telling the kids behind your back, right? But come on... there should be a line!
For example, a rather attractive woman has two kids with a guy (twins), never married him but they lived together. The guy is most definitely insane with a capital FUCKING NUTSO. To prove this he set up a video camera in order to capture her hitting him.
How did he know she would hit him?
Was it because she hits him all the time? Nope... not commonplace.
Was it because he was scared she would and wanted to be prepared? Nope, he outweighs her by a good 75 pounds and is about 7 inches taller.
Was she threatening him in any way? Nope, hell she would tell me how he kept coming up for lunch and she would get excited and would talk highly about the guy.
So... what's the deal then? How did he know she would hit him?
BECAUSE HE ANTOGONIZED HER UNTIL SHE DID!
He kept pushing her buttons until she finally knocked him in the arm... twice.
He took the video camera (didn't have any bruises to show) and went to not only the cops but the Department of Children and Family.
So this great guy... the baby daddy... got the courts to take the kids away from her. Sad part was that HE coudln't get sole custody EITHER since he was part of it all.
So her parents got the kids and she got visitation.
She also got court hearing after court hearing and had to go through "anger management" classes.
He didn't.
So she kicks him out, changes locks and tells him not to come back. She doesn't want him living there and he really shouldn't anyway since it would kind of disprove the whole battery bit. So she is jumping through the governmental hoops in order to get her kids back and also trying to work and live her life.
She isn't dating this guy anymore because of this and more, she says to me one day. Well, I would certainly hope not! He sends her flowers and says sweet things to her while I try to keep her focused on the fact that, oh, I don't know...
HE TOOK HER FUCKING KIDS AWAY FROM HER!!!!
Then comes V-Day, the most hated of al Hallmark Holidays. I jokingly ask her the day after if she went out with "Baby daddy", truly expecting a 'no'.
Guess what!!!
She DID go out with him. Sort of. Seems he came over, they chatted, tried to go to dinner, he started his shit and she pushed right back and they ended up fighting for V-Day.
Yes, I know I believe that is the way it should be but the fact that she had to go through it is ridiculous.
More time has passed. He has continued to show his crazy side.
Want to know how?
Really?
Promise you won't yell out "What a stupid bitch for EVER dating that guy!"?
Ok.
Twist my arm.
Seems she came out one day and found out some fuses were missing from her car. The wipers didn't work and some other things. She assumes it was so she would call the guy she knew knew about cars.
Him.
While looking around her car she came across a strange device. Suddenly, it made sense to her how he could always manage to call her when she was at her parent's or know where she was. He wasn't just following her... he had placed a TRACKING DEVICE in her car.
Yep.
High tech stalking.
She has found video cameras around her place. Tape recorders. Otehr devices. She turned the tracking device over to the police so they could trace it.
All this sounds frightening to ME so I can only assume what it's like for any ladies reading it. This guy was grade A psychotic beefstick.
She would always talk about him and get angry after all that. She would call him names. She left the flowers up at work, she said, so she could watch them slowly die.
She didn't put water in the vase or anything.
She just. watched. them. die.
She seemed tough about it. She had grounds against him to help fight HIS attempts at sole custody of kids he didn;t really want sole custody of... he said he just didn't want to pay child support.
Yes, ladies... not only is this guy insane... he's stupid, too. Send me an email and I'll give you his name and number if you want to ask him out.
Then one day she's telling me a story of when her and a friend were getting ready to go out to a club. The guy shows up for some reason or another at her place and starts talking to her. In the interest of keeping him from flipping out she agrees to let him go with them.
Uh huh... she went OUT with this guy AGAIN.
After all that, she STILL let him tag along.
I would say I wanted to smakc her upside her head for this... I'm sure some of you feel the same way, right? Don't you just want to smack some sense into her?
Don't worry, though.
Seems he beat us all to it.
She showed me the bruises.
Thighs.
Back.
Neck.
Chest.
I worry about her.
But damn... I'm sorry... guys, listen up. If the woman you supposedly love and can't live without gets ANY sort of bruising and it's not a) a true accident or b) due to consentual rough sex... then walk the fuck away!
If you love her so much and yet can't keep from hitting her, SHOW her how much you love her by NOT being around her.
She didn't make you do a goddamn thing. I know women can push the right buttons and can be bitches but if you mark her up because YOU can't control yourself, then walk away.
Try it.
When you realize you get mad all the time because of her,don't stay around her. Find someone you DON'T get mad at! If she upsets you all the time and you feel you HAVE to bitch slap her, then WALK AWAY.
So why can't people walk away from people they KNOW are bad for them?
Anyone got any ideas?
Maybe the NEXT case study will help us sort this out.
Tune in tomorrow-ish. (What? It's FRIDAY, dammit!)
Some people like to use the "baby daddy/mama" excuse for maintaining contact with people best described as "Life Pollution". They HAVE to stay in touch because they have kids together. I can buy this to an extent. It's an old story... parents staying married "for the kids". But we're talking about people who AREN'T married and only really NEED to see other during the kid exchange. I can accept wanting to stay on good terms, after all, you have no control over what that person is telling the kids behind your back, right? But come on... there should be a line!
For example, a rather attractive woman has two kids with a guy (twins), never married him but they lived together. The guy is most definitely insane with a capital FUCKING NUTSO. To prove this he set up a video camera in order to capture her hitting him.
How did he know she would hit him?
Was it because she hits him all the time? Nope... not commonplace.
Was it because he was scared she would and wanted to be prepared? Nope, he outweighs her by a good 75 pounds and is about 7 inches taller.
Was she threatening him in any way? Nope, hell she would tell me how he kept coming up for lunch and she would get excited and would talk highly about the guy.
So... what's the deal then? How did he know she would hit him?
BECAUSE HE ANTOGONIZED HER UNTIL SHE DID!
He kept pushing her buttons until she finally knocked him in the arm... twice.
He took the video camera (didn't have any bruises to show) and went to not only the cops but the Department of Children and Family.
So this great guy... the baby daddy... got the courts to take the kids away from her. Sad part was that HE coudln't get sole custody EITHER since he was part of it all.
So her parents got the kids and she got visitation.
She also got court hearing after court hearing and had to go through "anger management" classes.
He didn't.
So she kicks him out, changes locks and tells him not to come back. She doesn't want him living there and he really shouldn't anyway since it would kind of disprove the whole battery bit. So she is jumping through the governmental hoops in order to get her kids back and also trying to work and live her life.
She isn't dating this guy anymore because of this and more, she says to me one day. Well, I would certainly hope not! He sends her flowers and says sweet things to her while I try to keep her focused on the fact that, oh, I don't know...
HE TOOK HER FUCKING KIDS AWAY FROM HER!!!!
Then comes V-Day, the most hated of al Hallmark Holidays. I jokingly ask her the day after if she went out with "Baby daddy", truly expecting a 'no'.
Guess what!!!
She DID go out with him. Sort of. Seems he came over, they chatted, tried to go to dinner, he started his shit and she pushed right back and they ended up fighting for V-Day.
Yes, I know I believe that is the way it should be but the fact that she had to go through it is ridiculous.
More time has passed. He has continued to show his crazy side.
Want to know how?
Really?
Promise you won't yell out "What a stupid bitch for EVER dating that guy!"?
Ok.
Twist my arm.
Seems she came out one day and found out some fuses were missing from her car. The wipers didn't work and some other things. She assumes it was so she would call the guy she knew knew about cars.
Him.
While looking around her car she came across a strange device. Suddenly, it made sense to her how he could always manage to call her when she was at her parent's or know where she was. He wasn't just following her... he had placed a TRACKING DEVICE in her car.
Yep.
High tech stalking.
She has found video cameras around her place. Tape recorders. Otehr devices. She turned the tracking device over to the police so they could trace it.
All this sounds frightening to ME so I can only assume what it's like for any ladies reading it. This guy was grade A psychotic beefstick.
She would always talk about him and get angry after all that. She would call him names. She left the flowers up at work, she said, so she could watch them slowly die.
She didn't put water in the vase or anything.
She just. watched. them. die.
She seemed tough about it. She had grounds against him to help fight HIS attempts at sole custody of kids he didn;t really want sole custody of... he said he just didn't want to pay child support.
Yes, ladies... not only is this guy insane... he's stupid, too. Send me an email and I'll give you his name and number if you want to ask him out.
Then one day she's telling me a story of when her and a friend were getting ready to go out to a club. The guy shows up for some reason or another at her place and starts talking to her. In the interest of keeping him from flipping out she agrees to let him go with them.
Uh huh... she went OUT with this guy AGAIN.
After all that, she STILL let him tag along.
I would say I wanted to smakc her upside her head for this... I'm sure some of you feel the same way, right? Don't you just want to smack some sense into her?
Don't worry, though.
Seems he beat us all to it.
She showed me the bruises.
Thighs.
Back.
Neck.
Chest.
I worry about her.
But damn... I'm sorry... guys, listen up. If the woman you supposedly love and can't live without gets ANY sort of bruising and it's not a) a true accident or b) due to consentual rough sex... then walk the fuck away!
If you love her so much and yet can't keep from hitting her, SHOW her how much you love her by NOT being around her.
She didn't make you do a goddamn thing. I know women can push the right buttons and can be bitches but if you mark her up because YOU can't control yourself, then walk away.
Try it.
When you realize you get mad all the time because of her,don't stay around her. Find someone you DON'T get mad at! If she upsets you all the time and you feel you HAVE to bitch slap her, then WALK AWAY.
So why can't people walk away from people they KNOW are bad for them?
Anyone got any ideas?
Maybe the NEXT case study will help us sort this out.
Tune in tomorrow-ish. (What? It's FRIDAY, dammit!)
posted by wmjwatson at 8:22 PM
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