Disturbing Thoughts Round-up!

Ok, here’s the deal. I intend this to be a place to just list off those thoughts that aren’t worth a devoted posting and might be a tad disturbing or just un-PC (ptui!). Feel free to comment with any such thoughts YOU might have but we need some ground rules before we begin. First, remember these are just thoughts and don’t necessarily reflect on ACTIONS taken or mean any of us are BAD people. 2) No judging! This goes along with rule number one. 3) Fight club does not exist.
So with all that in mind, let’s get started!

1) How come, the more excited the parent is, the uglier the baby pictures?
2) I never see midget twins. We need more midget twins in this world.
3) Speaking of twins; am I the only white person who hesitates to comment when seeing black or Asian twins? You know, just in case.
4) Sometimes, when I think about the money I will get from a relative passing away, I get excited and briefly think, "hurry up and die already!"
5) Sometimes, when I think about the people that I owe money to, I think the same thing.
6) Why do women think that just cause you might fiddle with their asshole a bit during foreplay that it’s ok for them to just jab their finger at yours? I mean, Jesus, woman, ASK FIRST!! I’ll say "no" but at least you won’t get the Pimp Hand.
7) Why did pimps stop wearing large hats with animal print stripes and shoes with goldfish in them? That was a cool fashion choice. Was it when white people started doing it?
8) If God is supposed to be all knowing and smart as can be, why are most of his followers… well, NOT? Not even close. Good news though is that they help disprove human evolution. You'd think after all these millions and billions of years we'd all be much smarter. So, yay them!
9) Diehard Christians are like republicans anymore whenever someone offers theories or evidence that goes against their doctrine. Like if the Democrats report that W said he hates gay people in an interview with the LA Times back on October 10, 2003, the Reps will come out saying he never DID an interview with the LA Times on that day. It was the NY Times on the 11th so the Dems MUST be lying!! They won’t admit he DID say he hated flamers. The same is true with Christians whenever someone brings out evidence against their faith. They want proof and any flaw in that proof is enough evidence to claim EVERYTHING is wrong. Yet, they use their Bible as proof for so much of THEIR beliefs even though so much of that book has been shown to be wrong, mistranslated, misinterpreted or just intended as a story. It makes me not trust any of them.
10) I regret not using the "Just a kid" excuse more when I was younger. You remember that, right? When you could do something stupid and people would just say "Oh, he/she’s just being a kid" and it would be ok? Like climbing on a neighbor’s roof or jumping on a big dog and riding it like a horse or calling someone a fatty-fat-fatty or kicking someone in the shins for no reason or telling your mother the Christmas present she got you sucked or just dropping to the floor in the mall and screaming when your company won’t leave! I didn’t take enough advantage of that and I miss being able to do that without people calling the cops.
11) Wouldn’t it suck if there really WAS only ONE person for each of us? Especially if that person was already buried under your shed? Sometimes that’s the thing that keeps me from just going nutso and wiping out small parts of the population. Well, that and the fact that I don’t want to go to jail (see #6 for more on THAT).
12) When a co-worker says "We’re having a ‘Come to Jesus Meeting’", I want to say "Why can’t we have a ‘Come ON Jesus Meeting’!? I think Jesus would like a little bukkake action!" But I don’t cause I’m a wussy.
13) Sometimes I look at porn and try to figure out exactly when someone told the woman she was pretty. I usually end up concluding it was her mother cause mother’s love to lie about shit like that.
14) People who say "Think outside the box" and MEAN it should be punched in the throat until they learn better. What box? Why is THEIR box so small? Maybe they need a bigger box though it's hard to imagine their brains being too big for ANY box.
15) "When I look at him, I don't see his color." I hate that one, too. What else you missin', re-re? Come on, we have different races and different cultures and different people. Trying to pretend you're enlightened by refusing that person their heritage and complexion is insulting. Of course, they usually have NO problem talking about "white people". Morons.
16) I think black people's names would be a lot less funny if they took the time to look up the word in the dictionary BEFORE naming their children.
17) I get ALMOST as annoyed anytime a jewish person brings up the holocaust as I do when a black person brings up slavery. Yeah, it happened but a couple of generations ago. Come on, those who you know who went through it are either REALLY old or dead. Let it go. Still be aware enough to keep it from happening again but don't bring it up anytime you feel downtrodden! Ugh. And I did't own any damn slaves so don't try that white guilt on ME, mister! Now, my family shot indians and stuff but no record of slave owning. So for all you Native Americans out there... sorry, my bad!
18) Every so often I get the urge to just smack someone. Not because they pissed me off for any reason, cause that is ok. I mean like standing in line at the bank, turning around and SMACK! Just to see how the person will react.
19) I'm always disappointed when a homeless guy comes up to me asking for money and he DOESN'T smell bad. Not sure why.
20) It's fun to walk by ONE beggar and hand the one behind him a couple of bucks. For added effect, turn and point at the other guy and whisper, "He's faking it."

That’s all I have for now. Whatchu got? And remember, NO JUDGING. These should just be thoughts you have... hell, you can have them and worry about your OWN "goodnes" and "sanity" but at least admit to HAVING these thoughts.
Maybe not THESE but similar... so come on.... tell me YOUR thoughts!