Act your age, mama, not your shoe size...
Kissing.
This came up while talking with someone who I've kissed. I've had this type of discussion in some form of another with just about every person I have ever kissed. Excluding family, of course. I was doing my usual "I'm bored, wanna make out" intro to various friends, several of whom the idea of making out is a known joke... even with those who I've made out with in the past. Anywho, a friend and former kiss partner asked if anyone had accepted. I had to say no with a sad face emoticon cause it was tragic.
Actually, tragic was twisting my damn knee getting out of the shower while getting ready to go out but that's not the point of this blog.
She said that was too bad and " If I was single I'd make out with you in a heartbeat! You're a great kisser!" I graciously accepted her compliment with a thanks and said she wasn't too bad either. Now before you get all uppity about that, let me 'splain sumpin to chu.
This particular person, through no fault of her own, falls into a certain category of kissers. The wide open mouth kisser (WOMK). Nothing wrong with it, necessarily, but see, I can't open my mouth that wide. And nowhere NEAR as wide as SHE can. So, at first, I would get worried about her swallowing my face. And I DID already say all this to her directly so don't worry about her reading this. She was one of the few WOMKs that I actually enjoyed. Normally, these women (or guys, i assume) can't adjust their styles to accomodate other people. They come at you like fucking bass and ALWAYS come at you like bass. She did alter her technique. WOMK does have its place in the good ol hot 'n heavy but when it's the first kiss or simply an intimate moment (pre-foreplay), then I find it a bit offputting. Almost a complete turn off.
So while talking to her about it and remembering the conversation we had about it many moons ago... back when we still kissed... I started thinking about other styles of kissing. I am sure this is not complete so any input or categories you want to add... feel free.
1) WOMK. Already discussed.
2) Pressure Kisser. Tightly pursed lips. Lots of neck pressure. I worry for my dental work and fear she will undo all the success I had with braces as a child.
3) Blob. The opposite of 2. The lips are SO relaxed that it almsot seems like you need to get a bucket to hold them in so you don't lose any of them. These and the WOMK are the ones that usually have the most teeth strikes during a kiss. This is NOT "fat chicks"... weight has nothing to do with ANY of these kisses.
4) Mouse Trap. This is where the chick comes in with lips pressed tight and you almost feel like she's trying to shove her lips thru your teeth and suddenly SNAP, she opens her mouth for some frenching. Always reminded me of a mousetrap.
5) Quicksand. Like 4 is to 2, 5 is to 3. Soft, gooey lips and suddenly it opens up and you fall into it. Like quicksand. There is already not enough support in the kiss so having a gaping hole open up gives me vertigo.
6) The Biter. Lips. Tongue. Neck. Nose. Forehead. You name it, it gets bit. I almost hesitate to list this under kissing since there isn't much kissing going on.
7) The Planner. Every kiss is precise in movements and length. It feels like a dance sequence or a fight scene it's so choreographed. Whether it is from just thinking ahead or from experience, it just comes off as unemotional. That is just not the feeling you want to have when you are trying to unhook her bra thru her jacket.
8) The Passive Aggressor. She waits for the kiss and expects YOU to do all the work but lets you know if you make a mistake. IF you move down to the neck to soon, she pulls your head back up. If you stop with the tongue, she uses hers to knock on your lips and ask it to come out and play. Nothing major, no yelling or evil eyes... just subtle clues that you messed up somewhere and need to get it right. But at least she's communicating!!!!
9) Impatient. DO IT NOW!! GIVE ME THAT KISS!! NOW OVER THERE!! KISS MY NECK!! NOW MY CHEST!! GET YOUR PANTS OFF!! GO HOME! LEAVE THE MONEY ON THE DRESSER!
10) The Joker. Likes to be playful and will giggle a lot. Might blow into your mouth or pull on yuor lip or tongue. MAy give your belly a raspberry or tickle your neck. Only serious in kissing during sex. But not ALWAYS serious in kissing during sex.
11) ADHD. Can't stay focused and moves around so much YOU start to have trouble focusing. I blame MTV.
12) YOU tell ME. What should 12 (13, 14, etc) be?
Please don't think I am criticizing. Everyone has their own styles and it's fun to learn them. I've joked a bit about it all but I really do like kissing. Kissing is great fun and with the right person is an amazing way to spend an evening. Most people will go from one type to another but some...some just stick with one. Change it up... see what your partner enjoys... learn each other!! Kissing gets even BETTER that way. And apparently, I'm a really good kisser. Or great, depending on who you talk to.
Oh yeah... almost forgot. What is MY style, anyway? Oh it's simple... it's....................
Whoops... gotta go.
TTYL.
This came up while talking with someone who I've kissed. I've had this type of discussion in some form of another with just about every person I have ever kissed. Excluding family, of course. I was doing my usual "I'm bored, wanna make out" intro to various friends, several of whom the idea of making out is a known joke... even with those who I've made out with in the past. Anywho, a friend and former kiss partner asked if anyone had accepted. I had to say no with a sad face emoticon cause it was tragic.
Actually, tragic was twisting my damn knee getting out of the shower while getting ready to go out but that's not the point of this blog.
She said that was too bad and " If I was single I'd make out with you in a heartbeat! You're a great kisser!" I graciously accepted her compliment with a thanks and said she wasn't too bad either. Now before you get all uppity about that, let me 'splain sumpin to chu.
This particular person, through no fault of her own, falls into a certain category of kissers. The wide open mouth kisser (WOMK). Nothing wrong with it, necessarily, but see, I can't open my mouth that wide. And nowhere NEAR as wide as SHE can. So, at first, I would get worried about her swallowing my face. And I DID already say all this to her directly so don't worry about her reading this. She was one of the few WOMKs that I actually enjoyed. Normally, these women (or guys, i assume) can't adjust their styles to accomodate other people. They come at you like fucking bass and ALWAYS come at you like bass. She did alter her technique. WOMK does have its place in the good ol hot 'n heavy but when it's the first kiss or simply an intimate moment (pre-foreplay), then I find it a bit offputting. Almost a complete turn off.
So while talking to her about it and remembering the conversation we had about it many moons ago... back when we still kissed... I started thinking about other styles of kissing. I am sure this is not complete so any input or categories you want to add... feel free.
1) WOMK. Already discussed.
2) Pressure Kisser. Tightly pursed lips. Lots of neck pressure. I worry for my dental work and fear she will undo all the success I had with braces as a child.
3) Blob. The opposite of 2. The lips are SO relaxed that it almsot seems like you need to get a bucket to hold them in so you don't lose any of them. These and the WOMK are the ones that usually have the most teeth strikes during a kiss. This is NOT "fat chicks"... weight has nothing to do with ANY of these kisses.
4) Mouse Trap. This is where the chick comes in with lips pressed tight and you almost feel like she's trying to shove her lips thru your teeth and suddenly SNAP, she opens her mouth for some frenching. Always reminded me of a mousetrap.
5) Quicksand. Like 4 is to 2, 5 is to 3. Soft, gooey lips and suddenly it opens up and you fall into it. Like quicksand. There is already not enough support in the kiss so having a gaping hole open up gives me vertigo.
6) The Biter. Lips. Tongue. Neck. Nose. Forehead. You name it, it gets bit. I almost hesitate to list this under kissing since there isn't much kissing going on.
7) The Planner. Every kiss is precise in movements and length. It feels like a dance sequence or a fight scene it's so choreographed. Whether it is from just thinking ahead or from experience, it just comes off as unemotional. That is just not the feeling you want to have when you are trying to unhook her bra thru her jacket.
8) The Passive Aggressor. She waits for the kiss and expects YOU to do all the work but lets you know if you make a mistake. IF you move down to the neck to soon, she pulls your head back up. If you stop with the tongue, she uses hers to knock on your lips and ask it to come out and play. Nothing major, no yelling or evil eyes... just subtle clues that you messed up somewhere and need to get it right. But at least she's communicating!!!!
9) Impatient. DO IT NOW!! GIVE ME THAT KISS!! NOW OVER THERE!! KISS MY NECK!! NOW MY CHEST!! GET YOUR PANTS OFF!! GO HOME! LEAVE THE MONEY ON THE DRESSER!
10) The Joker. Likes to be playful and will giggle a lot. Might blow into your mouth or pull on yuor lip or tongue. MAy give your belly a raspberry or tickle your neck. Only serious in kissing during sex. But not ALWAYS serious in kissing during sex.
11) ADHD. Can't stay focused and moves around so much YOU start to have trouble focusing. I blame MTV.
12) YOU tell ME. What should 12 (13, 14, etc) be?
Please don't think I am criticizing. Everyone has their own styles and it's fun to learn them. I've joked a bit about it all but I really do like kissing. Kissing is great fun and with the right person is an amazing way to spend an evening. Most people will go from one type to another but some...some just stick with one. Change it up... see what your partner enjoys... learn each other!! Kissing gets even BETTER that way. And apparently, I'm a really good kisser. Or great, depending on who you talk to.
Oh yeah... almost forgot. What is MY style, anyway? Oh it's simple... it's....................
Whoops... gotta go.
TTYL.
posted by wmjwatson at 7:59 AM
9 Comments:
WOMK. There's a new acronym to add to my rapidly growing list.
Yeah, so everyone can stop wondering, he's talking about me, but I don't really think I do that...but you know what they say, eye of the beholder.
Anyway, I have a few other types of kissers to add to this list - some good, some bad.
12. The Dead Fish - This is the guy or girl who thinks that just by putting their tongue in your mouth, they are kissing you. There it lies, wet and cold, like a sad dead little fish, not moving, just....there. How boring. And frankly, how gross.
13. The black and white movie kisser - This is the guy or girl who pushes their lips against yours, no tongue, no movement, just an extended press of lips on lips. This can be fun sometimes, but after awhile, you're yearning for Technicolor. (William used to do this sometimes!!!!!)
14. The Teaser - MY PERSONAL FAVORITE. This is the guy or girl who contemplates every nibble, every dart of the tongue, every press of the lips. This is the person who torments you with exactly what you want until you whine a little bit - and then they finally give in. This is, for me, the guy who leads my thoughts to what else he may be able to do with his mouth, out of sheer empirical curiosity, of course. The first time I kissed my current boyfriend, he epitomized "The Teaser", and I knew I was in a heap of trouble. ;)
15. The Licker - Good God, this drives me up a wall. When a kiss suddenly turns into a full session of licking my face, neck, lips, teeth, chin...there's a problem. That's not kissing, that's bathing, and I do that plenty without the help of your tongue, thank you very much...
Kissing is tricky. It depends on my mood I guess, or what I see as the end result of the kiss. I modify my technique and urgency accordingly based on the person, like I am sure we all do...
Like Kevin Costner said in Bull Durham, "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days..."
That's where it's at. Kevin can kiss me ANY DAY.
I use the "B&W movie" in order to slow down the WOMK's. :)
I kept your name hidden but since YOU mentioned it, it's cool.
oooh....glad I am not one of them!!!
I'll make sure any guy I would possibly kiss doesn't have an online journal. I definitely don't like anyone to talk about "my style" in open.
SHE mentioned herself by name, not me. And again, this is NOT judging. I vary my own style and have used/been guilty of several of these techniques. The only time it's an issue is when the person CAN'T change it up a bit.
But for THAT.. no kissing!
I'm hardly shy, and I know that William posts a lot of this stuff out of irreconcilable angst, so I couldn't care less if he mercilessly criticizes me about this. It's all relative. :)
Right Will???
No angst. You just got me thinkin about it all. Don't be mean. :(
hmmm....not sure I understand what's going on here, but this is what I think about this topic:
A kiss is where the romance is, and the best "type" of kissing (if you can ever categorize it into different types) is when you DON'T even think about the "style"....or don't remember the "style" afterwards....who cares if it's a open mouth, close mouth, ...as long as.....
I agree Nacim. Kissing is better than sex if done right. :)
I don't see where she said "better than sex", Amy.
Nice try, though.
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