Gonna need some help with this one...
This is proving to be too much for me. I am coming up blank on what to do to keep my mind off things. I am not the type to run out and just drink my troubles away (dammit! that always looked so easy!). I need SOMETHING to do. I spent tonite Mom-sitting and playing around trying to delete all the comments on my MySpace page.
They really need a way to delete them all at once.
Anywho, I came home, watched some tv and am yet again contemplating taking 6-7 melatonin in order to just go to sleep. I can't read without my mind wandering. Writing has been fruitless unless it's a blog. TV has been nothing but poor choices... the ep of scrubs just on where Michael J Fox shows up had me in tears... not because it's simply a powerful ep (which it is) but because of where my mind went with it.
I can't keep being like this.
I feel stupid.
If she obviously can't give a righteous shit about me or us, why should I? Obvously, logically speaking, there is no point in dwelling on it since there is no hope. She made that quite clear.
My last spoken words to her were about me saying "I'd say feel free to call if you ever wnat to talk/need me but you wouldn't, would you?"
She simply said, "Probably not."
But she sure did rely to my general "Happy New Year, thank god this year is over" message with a nice big smiley face and all.
See? I know she was out having a blast last night. So why couldn't the knowledge that she was enough to motivate ME to do the same? What IS it about being dumped that makes it hard to really move on? You'd think just the act of BEING dumped would be enough to just say "Fuck her!!" and go off and live it up.
This is quite interesting.
Maybe I should use this time to study it and learn why it is this way.
Hmmmm.
Naw!
I want to just keep my mind off it until it's too far in the past that I won't even remember her face. Shouldn't be too hard... she has already blocked me and there's really no reason for us to see each other at work.
So... anyone of my Jax peeps up for any fun?
They really need a way to delete them all at once.
Anywho, I came home, watched some tv and am yet again contemplating taking 6-7 melatonin in order to just go to sleep. I can't read without my mind wandering. Writing has been fruitless unless it's a blog. TV has been nothing but poor choices... the ep of scrubs just on where Michael J Fox shows up had me in tears... not because it's simply a powerful ep (which it is) but because of where my mind went with it.
I can't keep being like this.
I feel stupid.
If she obviously can't give a righteous shit about me or us, why should I? Obvously, logically speaking, there is no point in dwelling on it since there is no hope. She made that quite clear.
My last spoken words to her were about me saying "I'd say feel free to call if you ever wnat to talk/need me but you wouldn't, would you?"
She simply said, "Probably not."
But she sure did rely to my general "Happy New Year, thank god this year is over" message with a nice big smiley face and all.
See? I know she was out having a blast last night. So why couldn't the knowledge that she was enough to motivate ME to do the same? What IS it about being dumped that makes it hard to really move on? You'd think just the act of BEING dumped would be enough to just say "Fuck her!!" and go off and live it up.
This is quite interesting.
Maybe I should use this time to study it and learn why it is this way.
Hmmmm.
Naw!
I want to just keep my mind off it until it's too far in the past that I won't even remember her face. Shouldn't be too hard... she has already blocked me and there's really no reason for us to see each other at work.
So... anyone of my Jax peeps up for any fun?
posted by wmjwatson at 12:13 AM
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