Ringer and Bloodrayne

Crappy weekend for movies but I used that time to get caught up. I hope to see Hostel tonite (anyone want to go?) and will write about it later.

Ringer
Saw this Friday when it had already been out for a week or more and it was PACKED. Sure, it was a tiny theatre but still... packed. Mostly with annoying people but they didn't interfere with the movie TOO much once it started.
For those who don't know about this movie, it's with Johnny Knoxville and Brian Cox (damn, whoever thought you'd ever read THOSE two names together?!?!) and is about the two of them rigging the Special Olympics by having Knoxville "pretend" to be mentally challenged/retarded. I believe this movie was supposed to come out last summer or something since I remember seeing the teaser trailer a LONG time ago. It was the one featuring Knoxville confessing to what he was doing and the priest kicking the crap out of him.
You read that plot summary and you would go into this expecting a truly offensive flick. And those who don't pay attention may hear it's from the people who did Something About Mary and Stuck On You and all that and thinkg it would be REALLY offensive. But it isn't. Those people forget that the Farrelly Brothers have an affection for the "mentally nad physically challenged" folks and tend to put at least one in every movie they do. As they've made more and more, they have gotten even larger roles. Yes, Mary's brother was just an actor but the others she helped were real people... including the guy the brother was based on. Ringer takes this to its ultimate conclusion. Besides Knoxville, Cox and one or two others, the major characters are all real people. Think of it like Jackie Chan doing his own stunts... just means he's doing the work. These guys are still acting (and I think one or two MAY have been actors but I am having trouble getting this confirmed). Regardless, they all play their 'parts' very well. There are characters and situations that require SOME measure of ability and they all perform admirably. NOt saying they deserve an oscar but hell... if Hoffman and Lewis and Penn can get nods and awards for PRETENDING, these guys should at least get acknowledged.
The humor never comes at THEIR expense. They do things that are funny but not becuase they are "retarded" but because they DO it. Stuff that would've gotten a laugh if ANYONE would've done it. And they are never portrayed as idiots. Only the NON-challenged people are set up as stupid. Beyond that, the movie is just about a man who was already a good man having to do a bad thing for a good reason and yet still learns something about himself. Granted, the change inhis character was simply reverting BACK to how he is at the beginning but it's still a fun ride. This is NOT a comedy like Me, Myself and Irene or Mary or Kingpins or anything. This is a more serious turn with just a lighthearted approach. Nothing TOO serious but nothing that would make you offended or upset, really. Unless you get mad at the use of the word "tard" or "retard" and don't take into account WHO is saying it and why.
It's a nice movie but I suggest renting it.

Bloodrayne
THIS is the reason I didn't see Hostel Saturday night. No one wants to see Hostel because it is a horror movie. WUSSIES!! Anywho, Kevin didn't want "gore" so he suggested Bloodrayne. I admit to being curious about it even though I had never played the videogame but after seeing how godawful bad it looked in the trailer, I had that "car accident" mentality take over. Could it POSSIBLY be THAT bad? I mean, Dungeons and Dragons bad? House of the Dead bad?? The director HAD to have learned SOMETHING about making movies by NOW right?
Nope.
Actually, it seems he has forgotten a lot. It's not JUST him. The direction sucks, certainly, but the writing is equally bad. The acting, what there was of it, amounted to little more than a couple doing their best english accent or crying on cue. The effects were decent with plenty of bloody wounds and decapitations and the like. But when you have Ben Kingsley in a movie with Michael Pare, Michael Madsen, Billy Zane and Meatloaf and he ISN'T the best actor in the bunch, something's WRONG!! This is Ben's beer money movie. Doing it for the paycheck.
Most of the actors seem to approach that way. Even the ones who should be thanking their stars they even got ASKED to do this piece of shit.
**cough**
Michael Pare
**cough**
Meatloaf did it for fun, obviously, and because his scene is mostly him surrounded byu nekkid women. Madsen did it so he could say he was in a fantasy piece set, I guess, in england since most people at least TRIED an english accent. Even Michelle Rodriguez (Resident Evil and Fast and the Furious) did one. Lokhann... the Terminatrix from T3... did one. She was Rayne so I guess she HAD to. But Madsen DIDN'T. WTF?!?!? Neither did his friend/partner. WTF!?!? Nor Billy Zane. Wait, I think he tried one. Michael Pare didn't, though, I don't think. It's so hard to remember.
OH, yeah... how bad was the writing? Most of the cringing can be laid at the feet of the actors but the writing... dear god. Here's a sample:
Man lays wounded and dying having escaped from an unexpected attack against their group by the bad guys. Michael Madsen and friends rush over to him.
Madsen: "What happened?"
Dying man: "We were attacked. They're all dead. ALL DEAD!"
Madsen: "Are there any survivors?"
THIS was the type of shit throughout but that one stuck with me.
The only good thing in it since the fights sucked (take time to train and work out some choreography people!! Keanu did it, for god's sake!!) and the blood effects got old after awhile... was the nudity. And, sorry, but there just wasn't enough of it to warrant paying money for this. Thankfully Kevin took me out for some drinks afterwards to pay me back for this.
Those of you who heard from me Saturday night around 130AM know how well it worked. Cause I sure as hell wasn't talking about THIS movie anymore. :)
Thanks, Kevin.

Sorry I couldn't have better reviews for you.