See No Evil and X3

SEE NO EVIL
It's the first movie from WWE films. It stars a wrestler. It's a horror movie. Seriously, you ain't expecting high art, are ya?
Kane plays Jacob Goodlight (I think that was his last name.. he IS the only character to GET one but it went by pretty fast)... a kid who gets warped by a VERY sadistic mama until he likes to kill people in VERY violent ways and then pluck out their eyeballs. He also gets about two lines, total of 3-4 words. The rest of the cast is made up of his victims... except for those who get away, of course.
This is a horror movie in the fine tradition of all the great slasher flicks. He is Jason and Michael and a little bit of Freddy with some Pinhead thrown in for good measure. The deaths are brutal and, for the most part, telegraphed. You KNOW he's coming. Instead of music (sha sha sha sha) you have flies. If a fly appears, Kane is near. He loves his chain with a hook on the end. He'd make a great fisherman. He's a killer who would love his work if he was allowed to show emotion. (Ok, there IS a scene where he smiles... but otherwise he is stonefaced or crying but mostly only in the flashback scenes.) The deaths are at their best when they are a reflection of the victim's life or personality. A dark humor that makes you just laugh at the viciousness of it all. Call me desensitized but choking a bitch on her cellphone is a pretty cool thing. Hell, I know I was wishing I could do that to a few people there. :)
Look, you're either going to see this movie in the theatre or wait until it comes out on DVD or you just ain't going to see it. If you like good slasher flicks, low on plot, high on violence, check this out. If you get queasy or sick watching some eyes get plucked out (plop!) then stay away from it. It IS good fun and never takes itself too seriously. Plus, as an added bonus, I saw it as part of a twofer... with DaVinci Code... so two movies about killers spouting bible verses... was a great theme!

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND (X3)
Ok, here's the full version of this... the shorter version is below this entry... and there WILL be spoilers so if you ain't seen it and plan to, stop reading.
You stop yet?
Good.
This is basically the Dark Phoenix Saga (light) meets a version of Joss Whedons first six Astonishing X-Men issues. A cure is formulated by an independent lab that uses a mutant as its basis. The cure is publicized creating an even bigger rift amongst mutants... those who want the cure and those who see it as a threat to mutantkind. There are a few characters who seem... SEEM... to straddle that fence... the cure SHOULD be available to those who need it but shouldn't be forced upon folks. After all, some mutations ARE a curse. Not everyone gets to be pretty.
Meanwhile, Jean Grey comes back after sacrificing herself in the second movie. Only she comes back REALLY powerful. We learn that Xavier placed some mental blocks on her powers to keep her weak until she was able to control her near limitless powers. We learn that Jean is the only Class 5 mutant known. Magneto and Xavier (and Pyro for some fucking reason) are Class 4, to give you an idea what this means. The incident at Liberty Island let out some of the power and it just kept getting stronger and stronger. Magneto wants to use her, Xavier wants to stop her. No one thinks of using the cure on her. The X-Men are smart in some ways, dumb in others.
If you like to read reviews, you've probably read many about this movie already. People complaining about Brett Ratner's direction or about the deaths or about the bridge scene and so on. These reviews annoy the holy hell out of me and I'd like to take time to address some of the more glaringly moronic points made that I've seen.
Brett Ratner did a fine job. He told the story. He told the story in LESS time than was given to the previous two or three directors and with probably less money than he needed. He introduced several concepts that fans have been clamoring for regardless of how they would look on the big screen.
I want the Danger Room!!
It looks too much like the holodeck on Star Trek!
I want to see Sentinels!
The Sentinel looked dumb! or That's it!?!?
I want to see the Fastball Special!! (This is where Colossus throws Wolverine at something. We get it twice in this one.)
That looked silly! (Of course it did... Colossus is over a foot and a half taller than Wolverine in the comics... here they are about the same height!)
I want to see Storm be a badass!
Storm WAS a badass... FINALLY! Granted they had to make Callisto a speedster and more making it hardly even Callisto anymore but still... Storm DOES kickass! Peple still complained that she had too MUCH screen time. OY! She WAS a leader of the X-Men for a LONG time in the comics, folks. She SHOULD'VE been a bigger deal all along.
I want to see Beast! I want to see Angel! I want to see (insert name here)!
Beast looked stupid! Angel looked stupid (the scenes he was in)! )Insert name here) was hardly in it! There were too MANY mutants!
See how this works?
People want something but don't think about how someone is supposed to DO it. The Danger Room WILL look like the holodeck because it IS the holodeck. Dur.
Beast would HAVE to be practical in execution otherwise the effects budget would be too muchif they made him CGI. Plus, people would then bitch about him being CGI.
Angel is too hard to sort out how to make him a fighter... look at the trouble they have with Rogue and Kitty. They can't sort out Rogue so they write her out and Kitty gets a couple of beats to show her DO something but really... her gift is to run through shit. Not the most offensive of gifts.
Brett Ratner gives some time to them all... these movies are still Wolverine and the X-Men movies and not X-Men. He is at the center of everything. I'd like to believe that if James Marsden wasn't busy with Superman Returns, he'd have been available for more. This is the reason his character is written out so quickly... you can't have the Dark Phoeniz story and have Cyclops alive but not in it. If he ain't in it, he has to be dead. Period.
The movie gets moving and doesn't really let up. The story goes from plot point to plot point and doesn't wasate a beat. It's the shortest of the bunch and could have benefitted from more time but nothing is wasted. Every look has a meaning and is there to replace dialogue, really. You see the characters emote instead of speak. That was a drawback to the Singer flicks... the characters had to SAY something... here, they do it with a look. Ratner lets his actors ACT and it shows that they appreciate it because every one of them brings something to their characters... something beyond just being able to recite lines.
Hell, some of them don't really HAVE lines. Colossus, Jubilee, Madrox, and a bunch more. Juggernaut is reduced to a few one liners and being the big muscle guy. He gets off better than Bane did in Batman and Robin but still... you want to know what he COULD'VE been, ask a comic geek to tell you about Juggy.
This was the movie makers putting in some stuff for the fans. Beast saying "Oh, my stars and garters." Wolverine smoking his cigars. The Fastball Special. The Sentinels, even if only seen in silhouette. Storm flying. All the incidental mutants in the background, including the Morlocks. Leech. Dr. Rao. Moira. Jean holding back Cyclops' eyeblasts. The confrontation between Xavier and Jean in the mansion. This is all stuff from the comics that get thrown in... sure, some seems to be just thrown in but most helps the story.
Really, the only thing missing is backstory for the characters. Juggernaut COULD still be similar to his comics incarnation (the Ultimate version, not the classic Jugs!) and we just don't know it. Angel MAY have been a pretty boy playa like in the comics but we only see how he is around the cure. Madrox WAS a darker character at first and it has been implied that he was a bit of a rogue so this just plays that up.
I doubt it... I doubt anyone gave it THAT much thought. These are the MOVIE versions of these folks and that has to be remembered. My friends and I understand this and accepted the changes as long as they were consistent with themselves... nothing changed (except Storm's accent, of course). Colossus is never revealed to be Russian so the missing accent isn't a big deal. Pyro is never revealed to be british so same benefit.
Someone said that Brett Ratner did a good job aping Singer's style and that that WAS Ratner's style... aping the previous directors in a series. I'd love to know what other sequels Ratner has done but I couldn't find out. Shame. I think people just like to come off as smart by bitching about Ratner. Makes them sound like REAL fans. The guy told the story. He knew how to work his actors and set up for FX and how to get the shots he needed. You can hate him all you want but he got the job done. And remember, all you tards who like to bitch about him putting TOO much into this one... the Danger Room ,the Sentinels, Beast, Angel, Blob, Gambit, and more were ALL supposed to be in the previous two. They just didn't have the budget.
People complain about the bridge scene saying it was pointless. It was an unnecessary display of power. Something big and showy for Magneto to do. (He moves the Golden Gate Bridge so it connects the main land to Alcatraz island). Sure, it was a pointless display of power. He oculd easliy have just picked up some metal and transported his troops to the island. Hell, he could've just commandeered a boat. But tell me this... with how Magneto has been developed in the movies... oh, and remember... in the comics he simply DESTROYED the bridge iin New York... and put yourself into his shoes... you want to get to Alcatraz Island and bring your troups or at least make it so they can follow (they aren't ALL on the bridge when he moves it, check it out), and you want to scare the shit out of the people that are there... what would YOU do?
Personally, I'd move the whole fucking bridge. And it had the desired effect... it scared them and made them pause. If the humans hadn't been as ready as they were, things would've ended a lot quicker because of this.
So maybe it wasn't quite so pointless... maybe the point of it WAS that it was a display of POWER!!
People bitch about Jean standing there thru the final fight. Jean was above all this when she became Phoenix. She says it to Scott... "You can't hurt me now"... Magneto says it to her... "I can manipulate this metal but you... you can do ANYTHING you want". Jean/Phoenix isn't concerned with anything because nothing warrants her attention. She doesn't get pissed until someone attacks her and then she OVERREACTS. She is either complacent or angry... there was no middle ground. It was consistent with her character and I would've been mad if she fought with the rest. Plus, the fight would've been too short.
People complain about Wolverine being too gung ho and all about the team and stuff. This was a point in the comics. The change was that Wolvie himself notices it in the comics and here, Jean is the one who says it. "He TAMED you!" Think about what she says to him... now look at the Xavier scenes with Logan in all THREE movies. It's a great plot point to follow thru on into later movies or into the Wolvereine spin off.
Ok, let me wrap this up... X3 isn't perfect but it's a fitting ending for the series if they so choose. I'd love to see it go on, sure, but this was a fun movie. Ratner does a wonderful job moving the series forward. I'll miss Cyclops since he's my fave XMan but that doesn't mean I'm mad they killed him. I've seen it twice and will probably see it again.
Oh, and stay through the credits. Trust me.
If you already saw it and DIDN'T stay, let me know and I'll tell you what you missed.