Thursday, July 27, 2006

TEASING

Teasing.
Women are so good at it.
Why? What’s the point. A woman tells you that one of her good “guy friends” (meaning a guy who she likes but won’t DATE but might sleep with if she has nothing else to do) has a crush on her. She lets him come down and stay with her and they do all sorts of things… cuddling, going out on what are essentially ‘dates’, going to the beach and doing all sorts of things. The whole time she KNOWS he’s REALLY into her. I mean the guy will travel hundreds of miles JUST to be around her or he’ll change his schedule to match hers or drop whatever he’s doing just because she calls up crying. There’s no way she can miss the signs, right?
But does this affect HOW she acts around him?
Does she make ANY sort of change or adjustment or try to explain to him that no matter what, they are JUST FRIENDS?
If you ask HER, she’ll say yes. She has had “the talk” with the friend and explained the dynamic of the relationship.
But ask HIM. I bet you’ll get a different story.
You see, for the most part, guy friends are just waiting around. There are always exceptions to the rule but, generally speaking, if the guy is a friend with a woman he is attracted to physically (sometimes doesn’t even require that) then he is just biding his time until he can swoop in and “get ‘im some.”
This isn’t a surprise to any guy out there. We’ve all been in that position in some capacity or another, whether conscious or not. We have that one (or more) female friend that we LIKE like and WOULD date if we could. Or at least we’d love the chance to nail her. For us, it might not even change the friendship. Depends on the girl and the guy.
But girls need to be convinced to give those “friends” a chance. They’ll say things like “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” or “I love you too much to risk anything going wrong.” This means she likes you but doesn’t WANT you.
But she’ll still hang on you and tell you things and hug you and kiss you (in a friendly way, of course) and stuff. You get to be in the room while she changes or you get to see her try on outfits for her night out. You get to listen to why the OTHER guys are such jerks but you’re such a great friend. That usually happens right before she goes out and meets another “loser”.
Yeah, see, all other guys are “losers” to any guy in that situation. It REALLY stinks when it’s true but that’s neither here nor there.
So, you have this woman who is FULLY AWARE that her friend has deep feelings for her. She is ALSO aware that she doesn’t share them for whatever reason makes sense to her that day.*
But why?
What’s the point?
Does she just REALLY like the attention? Is it because the guys she DOES get wet for not show her all the OTHER forms of attention she needs? Is it because she’s just pure evil? Or just pure ignorance?
Hard to tell, huh?
A BIG problem I see in many of these situations is that a woman just doesn’t want to be confrontational. She doesn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings (they ARE friends, after all, right?) so she avoids it. She will stop him if he ever crosses that ‘line’ but up TO that point, it’s all ok. She’ll tolerate it and let it happen. Sometimes, if she’s drunk or horny or just wanting that other sort of attention, she’ll even let him cross that line and THEN tell him it was a one time thing or whatever. I get tired of hearing women say this and guys saying they heard this.
Women need to learn how to hurt people!
I mean deliberately cause we all know women are quite adept at seriously causing damage to a guy.
They need to learn how to just TELL the guy and be FIRM and not worry if he gets hurt for a short time. It’s better than him living months or years or just DAYS thinking he has a shot. Be direct, be firm, be HONEST and just tell him that it IS just friends and then, here’s the kicker, be CONSISTENT. Don’t let it slip unless you are TRULY ready for the ramifications.
When the guy ISN’T into the woman, sure he can just bone her and go right back to laying video games with her. But I’m talking about when the guy actually “loves” her. Don’t mess with him. You can be gentle but you need to HURT him for it to get thru the thick skull.
So all you women out there… please stop that crap!!
OK?
Cool.
End of bitch session.
Have a good day.

*Yes, I know the roles can be reversed but since I am a guy, I’m telling this all from a guy POV. Deal with it.

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