Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Reflections on imminent fatherhood


Yeah, that seems like it would be me, right? Short tempered and saying shit that just doesn't make a lick of sense. Basically, a big kid.
It's how people see me, I think.
And to some extent it IS true. I AM a big kid. I got to Toys R Us to look at stuff I want to play with. I see Disney cartoons because I want to see them. I still watch some saturday morning cartoons when I'm up. I love to joke around and make silly voices and play pretend and all that stuff. I go to the beach to play and swim and go to theme parks to ride the rides and look at the stuff.
I read comics and still buy doills but to collect them... well, except the ones I open up and put on my shelves.
I generally get happy meals at places to get the toys.
But you know what? That's not all I am. And it's not all I offer.
I will make a great playmate for a kid but will also help instill some of my own beliefs.
I hate lying and try to avoid it whenever possible.
I consider my word my bond and hate having to break it.
I consider respect something that has to be earned. The only people who bitch about that belief of mine are the ones who haven't earned it.
I'm fiercely loyal.
Stubborn to a fault and will only give up after a long fight but will admit when I'm wrong.
I apologize when I feel I've done wrong.
I love with everything I have and for all those who've ever heard me utter those words... you know I still love you and always will. I don't throw them about willy nilly. I say it when I believe it.
I believe in trying. Failure isn't a bad thing unless you didn't try.
I believe in responsibility... regardless of what some people think of me. Cough*Amy*cough*JoJo*cough.
I'm more than just a big, playful kid... even though that seems to be what initially attracts women to me. It's like my serious side freaks them out cuz they aren't expecting it or something. Like I can't be both? WTF?!!? But I AM both!
I'm the frosted mini-wheat of guys.
I have the kid side that will have fun play rasslin with you and making you laugh.
And the side that will hold you when you cry and probably join in.
The side that will pick on you and poke fun.
The side that will listen and offer whatever advice I can think of to help.
I will make someone a great husband.
And, dammit... I know I will make an amazing father.
But I'm still scared.