See No Evil and X3

SEE NO EVIL
It's the first movie from WWE films. It stars a wrestler. It's a horror movie. Seriously, you ain't expecting high art, are ya?
Kane plays Jacob Goodlight (I think that was his last name.. he IS the only character to GET one but it went by pretty fast)... a kid who gets warped by a VERY sadistic mama until he likes to kill people in VERY violent ways and then pluck out their eyeballs. He also gets about two lines, total of 3-4 words. The rest of the cast is made up of his victims... except for those who get away, of course.
This is a horror movie in the fine tradition of all the great slasher flicks. He is Jason and Michael and a little bit of Freddy with some Pinhead thrown in for good measure. The deaths are brutal and, for the most part, telegraphed. You KNOW he's coming. Instead of music (sha sha sha sha) you have flies. If a fly appears, Kane is near. He loves his chain with a hook on the end. He'd make a great fisherman. He's a killer who would love his work if he was allowed to show emotion. (Ok, there IS a scene where he smiles... but otherwise he is stonefaced or crying but mostly only in the flashback scenes.) The deaths are at their best when they are a reflection of the victim's life or personality. A dark humor that makes you just laugh at the viciousness of it all. Call me desensitized but choking a bitch on her cellphone is a pretty cool thing. Hell, I know I was wishing I could do that to a few people there. :)
Look, you're either going to see this movie in the theatre or wait until it comes out on DVD or you just ain't going to see it. If you like good slasher flicks, low on plot, high on violence, check this out. If you get queasy or sick watching some eyes get plucked out (plop!) then stay away from it. It IS good fun and never takes itself too seriously. Plus, as an added bonus, I saw it as part of a twofer... with DaVinci Code... so two movies about killers spouting bible verses... was a great theme!

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND (X3)
Ok, here's the full version of this... the shorter version is below this entry... and there WILL be spoilers so if you ain't seen it and plan to, stop reading.
You stop yet?
Good.
This is basically the Dark Phoenix Saga (light) meets a version of Joss Whedons first six Astonishing X-Men issues. A cure is formulated by an independent lab that uses a mutant as its basis. The cure is publicized creating an even bigger rift amongst mutants... those who want the cure and those who see it as a threat to mutantkind. There are a few characters who seem... SEEM... to straddle that fence... the cure SHOULD be available to those who need it but shouldn't be forced upon folks. After all, some mutations ARE a curse. Not everyone gets to be pretty.
Meanwhile, Jean Grey comes back after sacrificing herself in the second movie. Only she comes back REALLY powerful. We learn that Xavier placed some mental blocks on her powers to keep her weak until she was able to control her near limitless powers. We learn that Jean is the only Class 5 mutant known. Magneto and Xavier (and Pyro for some fucking reason) are Class 4, to give you an idea what this means. The incident at Liberty Island let out some of the power and it just kept getting stronger and stronger. Magneto wants to use her, Xavier wants to stop her. No one thinks of using the cure on her. The X-Men are smart in some ways, dumb in others.
If you like to read reviews, you've probably read many about this movie already. People complaining about Brett Ratner's direction or about the deaths or about the bridge scene and so on. These reviews annoy the holy hell out of me and I'd like to take time to address some of the more glaringly moronic points made that I've seen.
Brett Ratner did a fine job. He told the story. He told the story in LESS time than was given to the previous two or three directors and with probably less money than he needed. He introduced several concepts that fans have been clamoring for regardless of how they would look on the big screen.
I want the Danger Room!!
It looks too much like the holodeck on Star Trek!
I want to see Sentinels!
The Sentinel looked dumb! or That's it!?!?
I want to see the Fastball Special!! (This is where Colossus throws Wolverine at something. We get it twice in this one.)
That looked silly! (Of course it did... Colossus is over a foot and a half taller than Wolverine in the comics... here they are about the same height!)
I want to see Storm be a badass!
Storm WAS a badass... FINALLY! Granted they had to make Callisto a speedster and more making it hardly even Callisto anymore but still... Storm DOES kickass! Peple still complained that she had too MUCH screen time. OY! She WAS a leader of the X-Men for a LONG time in the comics, folks. She SHOULD'VE been a bigger deal all along.
I want to see Beast! I want to see Angel! I want to see (insert name here)!
Beast looked stupid! Angel looked stupid (the scenes he was in)! )Insert name here) was hardly in it! There were too MANY mutants!
See how this works?
People want something but don't think about how someone is supposed to DO it. The Danger Room WILL look like the holodeck because it IS the holodeck. Dur.
Beast would HAVE to be practical in execution otherwise the effects budget would be too muchif they made him CGI. Plus, people would then bitch about him being CGI.
Angel is too hard to sort out how to make him a fighter... look at the trouble they have with Rogue and Kitty. They can't sort out Rogue so they write her out and Kitty gets a couple of beats to show her DO something but really... her gift is to run through shit. Not the most offensive of gifts.
Brett Ratner gives some time to them all... these movies are still Wolverine and the X-Men movies and not X-Men. He is at the center of everything. I'd like to believe that if James Marsden wasn't busy with Superman Returns, he'd have been available for more. This is the reason his character is written out so quickly... you can't have the Dark Phoeniz story and have Cyclops alive but not in it. If he ain't in it, he has to be dead. Period.
The movie gets moving and doesn't really let up. The story goes from plot point to plot point and doesn't wasate a beat. It's the shortest of the bunch and could have benefitted from more time but nothing is wasted. Every look has a meaning and is there to replace dialogue, really. You see the characters emote instead of speak. That was a drawback to the Singer flicks... the characters had to SAY something... here, they do it with a look. Ratner lets his actors ACT and it shows that they appreciate it because every one of them brings something to their characters... something beyond just being able to recite lines.
Hell, some of them don't really HAVE lines. Colossus, Jubilee, Madrox, and a bunch more. Juggernaut is reduced to a few one liners and being the big muscle guy. He gets off better than Bane did in Batman and Robin but still... you want to know what he COULD'VE been, ask a comic geek to tell you about Juggy.
This was the movie makers putting in some stuff for the fans. Beast saying "Oh, my stars and garters." Wolverine smoking his cigars. The Fastball Special. The Sentinels, even if only seen in silhouette. Storm flying. All the incidental mutants in the background, including the Morlocks. Leech. Dr. Rao. Moira. Jean holding back Cyclops' eyeblasts. The confrontation between Xavier and Jean in the mansion. This is all stuff from the comics that get thrown in... sure, some seems to be just thrown in but most helps the story.
Really, the only thing missing is backstory for the characters. Juggernaut COULD still be similar to his comics incarnation (the Ultimate version, not the classic Jugs!) and we just don't know it. Angel MAY have been a pretty boy playa like in the comics but we only see how he is around the cure. Madrox WAS a darker character at first and it has been implied that he was a bit of a rogue so this just plays that up.
I doubt it... I doubt anyone gave it THAT much thought. These are the MOVIE versions of these folks and that has to be remembered. My friends and I understand this and accepted the changes as long as they were consistent with themselves... nothing changed (except Storm's accent, of course). Colossus is never revealed to be Russian so the missing accent isn't a big deal. Pyro is never revealed to be british so same benefit.
Someone said that Brett Ratner did a good job aping Singer's style and that that WAS Ratner's style... aping the previous directors in a series. I'd love to know what other sequels Ratner has done but I couldn't find out. Shame. I think people just like to come off as smart by bitching about Ratner. Makes them sound like REAL fans. The guy told the story. He knew how to work his actors and set up for FX and how to get the shots he needed. You can hate him all you want but he got the job done. And remember, all you tards who like to bitch about him putting TOO much into this one... the Danger Room ,the Sentinels, Beast, Angel, Blob, Gambit, and more were ALL supposed to be in the previous two. They just didn't have the budget.
People complain about the bridge scene saying it was pointless. It was an unnecessary display of power. Something big and showy for Magneto to do. (He moves the Golden Gate Bridge so it connects the main land to Alcatraz island). Sure, it was a pointless display of power. He oculd easliy have just picked up some metal and transported his troops to the island. Hell, he could've just commandeered a boat. But tell me this... with how Magneto has been developed in the movies... oh, and remember... in the comics he simply DESTROYED the bridge iin New York... and put yourself into his shoes... you want to get to Alcatraz Island and bring your troups or at least make it so they can follow (they aren't ALL on the bridge when he moves it, check it out), and you want to scare the shit out of the people that are there... what would YOU do?
Personally, I'd move the whole fucking bridge. And it had the desired effect... it scared them and made them pause. If the humans hadn't been as ready as they were, things would've ended a lot quicker because of this.
So maybe it wasn't quite so pointless... maybe the point of it WAS that it was a display of POWER!!
People bitch about Jean standing there thru the final fight. Jean was above all this when she became Phoenix. She says it to Scott... "You can't hurt me now"... Magneto says it to her... "I can manipulate this metal but you... you can do ANYTHING you want". Jean/Phoenix isn't concerned with anything because nothing warrants her attention. She doesn't get pissed until someone attacks her and then she OVERREACTS. She is either complacent or angry... there was no middle ground. It was consistent with her character and I would've been mad if she fought with the rest. Plus, the fight would've been too short.
People complain about Wolverine being too gung ho and all about the team and stuff. This was a point in the comics. The change was that Wolvie himself notices it in the comics and here, Jean is the one who says it. "He TAMED you!" Think about what she says to him... now look at the Xavier scenes with Logan in all THREE movies. It's a great plot point to follow thru on into later movies or into the Wolvereine spin off.
Ok, let me wrap this up... X3 isn't perfect but it's a fitting ending for the series if they so choose. I'd love to see it go on, sure, but this was a fun movie. Ratner does a wonderful job moving the series forward. I'll miss Cyclops since he's my fave XMan but that doesn't mean I'm mad they killed him. I've seen it twice and will probably see it again.
Oh, and stay through the credits. Trust me.
If you already saw it and DIDN'T stay, let me know and I'll tell you what you missed.

X-Men The Last Stand (quick, spoiler-free review)

This is just a quick review since I am pretty damn tired and I have a long ass day tomorrow... X3 was pretty cool. I have issues with the story and the final fate of certain characters but overall it built on what came before, had more chances for the key characters to interact with each other (especially Stewart and McKellan) and CAN be seen as an ending to a trilogy. Personally, I think it would be a mistake to end the series here but I thought the same about Serenity... if it HAS to end there, fine... but I'd love it to go on

OVER THE HEDGE

Over the Hedge is based on the comic strip of the same name by Michael Fry. If you've read the first book, you'll recognize a lot of the gags and such but it's all put into a much larger context. Yes, OTH has managed longer storylines than some other strips. Certainly not on par with like For Better or Worse but longer than, say, Garfield. It can get a bit plot heavy at times... same problem you have ANY time a comic strip is translated to a movie. Peanuts worked well for some reason but Garfield and FBOW and Beetle Bailey all suffered when they were expanded. I never liked Dennis the Menace as a strip OR as a cartoon, live action show OR movie. Even Opus, my personal favorite character, had trouble with the christmas cartoon "Opus and Bill: A Wish For Wings That Work" even though it was based on a book. The creators seem to worry about putting TOO many gags a la Airplane and instead strive to make it more Disney-fide. Yes, OTH gets that way but it's ok... the plot works.
Bruce Willis is RJ, the racoon and main character in the movie. This is really HIS story. The other characters are all there and wonderfully voiced by some surprising talents (Avril Lavigne in particular as the daughter possum and Nic Nolte as the bear) and they all get some moments to shine but when it comes to STORY, it's all RJ. The comic relief comes from Steve Carell as Hamm, the squirrel, and he DOES get the BIGGEST laughs... and even the climactic moment belongs to Hamm but still, the story is all RJ.
RJ screws up an attempt to steal all the food the bear has tucked away from when he wakes up from hibernation... screws up by getting it all destroyed. The bear gives him one week to recover EVERYTHING that was lost EXACTLY as it was. This leads him to find the other critters who wake a week earlier than the bear (hence the time limit given to RJ) and begin to collect their food for the NEXT hibernation. Excet they discover their forest isn't QUITE as big as it once was... it seems a housing development sprung up while they slept. RJ knows what everything is and offers to help show them how to collect all the food they need in ... yep... ONE WEEK. It's the prefect set up and is a simple plot device to get the characters to mix and mingle as raccoon fights turtle for leadership, basically.
The voices are top notch. The animation is fantastic. Considering these are highly stylized 2D drawings they are based on, the characters have a solidity to them but still maintain the characteristics of the strip versions. You actually RECOGNIZE them (unlike Garfield...granted, they don't have to blend in with live action actors which makes it easier).
Overall, if you don't plan to see Davinci, then see Over the Hedge. If you've already SEEN Davinci, then go see Over the Hedge. But do it soon... cause X3 opens friday!!!
Ok, that's seriously all you get... I really AM sick (damn you, Bonnie!)

DaVinci Code

DaVinci Code
I had to listen to some woman behind me in line at Borders talk about how much she hated the DVC because it "only confused the young people of today" and that she had "no intention of seeing it even it wouldn't probably be sold out." The theatre was packed, my "date" was late and I wasn't sitting in my preferred place. The movie was 2.5 hours long and I had to deal with "christians" before and after the film wanting to hand me flyers and pamphlets.
I've read the book and thought it was fun. I've listened to WAY too many preachers talk about the 'inaccuracies' in the book, all the while never bothering with the ACCURACIES and honest-to-goodness ARGUMENTS it puts forth... none of them original to the book, mind you, but still. I've read other books about some of those theories and was excited to see them used in such a fun little mystery/chase book but was still curious how they would pull it off in the movie. Sure, there are chase scenes in the book but much of it is mental and conversational. Puzzles and lectures and discussions and so on and so on. This isn't exactly seat-gripping action.
Now with all that said, I liked this movie. I really liked it. I had fun. I knew the story and knew the solutions to the puzzles and knew all the twists and turns and so on but was still enthralled with it. Hanks wasn't the perfect choice, even Dan Brown commented on that. But we haven't perfected CGI enough to where it would be feasible to use a "young Harrison Ford" and Hanks did a fine job. The whole cast did a fine job. Paul Bettany as Silas was interesting but works. He may only be REALLY pale instead of an albino but so what, it works. Sir Ian stands out, fittingly so, as Teabing and WOW... that's all I Can say... WOW!! He was AWESOME! Can't say enough about the cast so I will stop there.
The location shooting brings so much to it beyond just the Louvre. It truly helps bring the book to LIFE. I liked it. And Ron Howard does a fine job letting his cinematographer take it all in. This is the first time I have EVER wanted to go to France. Anyone who knows me knows how big a deal that is.
The plot is mostly the same as the book, though streamlined. Wait! Streamlined? But you said it was 2.5 hours long! Yeah, I was surprised, too. A couple of puzzles are missing and a few paintings are left undiscussed but that's because they can be SHOWN and don't need to be described as much. The plot is boiled down to its main bits. One criptex. One straight line to the end (sort of). The discussions are refined to their main bits of meat and some stuff is added to them which I liked becuase it actually addresses some of the 'points' the christian preachers have been making. The whole thing is treated more as a theory and the nicest touch of all, they don't sell out by not talking about traditional dogma and belief as anything else BUT a theory. No one can PROVE either side, it's pointed out. Thank you! Hopefully, the typical mouth breathing, bow and nod and touching hands christians will understand this a bit more and realize faith doesn't equal truth.
My fave scene in the book becomes my fave scene in the movie... the discussion about the Last Supper painting by DaVinci. The added effects bring it to life and help demonstrate some valid criticisms of both the work AND the theory while helping support it. It's a fine line for the film to wlak and I think it does it better than the book. But then, the movie HAS to do it better than the book.
For those who have read the book, see the movie... it starts before the book and adds some nice visual touches to it while not violating anything. It doesn't so much throw something out as bypass it. See it and enjoy it as much as the book. Assuming you enjoyed the book, of course.
If you haven't read the book and plan to, wait until after seeing the movie. If you haven't read the book and DON'T plan to, still see the movie. It's well made and just a well-rounded flick. It isn't perfect but it IS a very good translation of the work. But don't bring the kiddies... Those who know about Silas know why. There were WAY too many kids in my showing... whiney brats all.
And if you want a more action based movie... less talking, more shooting? Go see M:I III!! Or wait to see X3!
I'm seeing Over the Hedge tomorrow and should have something up on that later in the day.
Take care.

M:I III, SILENT HILL, SENTINEL, TAKE THE LEAD

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 3
Or M:I III as the poster lists it. Anyone need to be told what sort of movie this is? I sure as hell hope not! If you DO, what are you doing reading MY blog? Silly people.
So, yes, the movie is STILL about Tom Cruise (not as much as the second one was...whew) but the supporting characters (everyone ELSE) gets something to do that helps to build on their character. They help Tom out of many a jam and act like a well oiled machine. This doesn't mean they get to help him fight the bad guy at the end, of course. That part is still for Tom but they all at least get some development so it would be nice to see them in M:I IV.
Well, except poor Ving Rhames. Poor Ving is the only other person who's been in all of them and we STILL only know about as much aout the character as we always have. Tom Cruise gets a girlfriend and gets to whine about the job... Ving just does the job. Maybe it's time for Ving to quit the series... hmmmm.
OH, yeah... Tom has a g/f in this one. No more sleeping with the wrong woman (M:I I) or trying to get a girl he likes to go back to an ex of hers (M:I II). Nosireebob, this time he has an honest-to-god GIRLFRIEND. A 'civilian' one, at that. I'll go ahead and ruin this point for you right now... this IS NOT LIKE MR AND MRS SMITH. She isn't a secret agent and they will never even try to set that up. Someone at my showing blurted this dumb shit out and had everyone looking for clues.
Sigh.
Anywho, what you WILL get is some really nice action set pieces, some awesome stunts, some interesting CGI work and a wonderful. 2D villain played by an oscar nominee. I just find that last part kind of funny. There really is no depth to the villain... he's a bad guy. That's it. Thru and thru, he's a bad guy.
It isn't perfect but it was damn fun. It would be nice during the interrogation scene of the bad guy to actually show his POV during the REALLY tense part of it but you can let it slide since it is so well acted. Sure, I hate it when a movie is done in flashback... it ruins the suspense since you KNOW where it's heading.. and I think they could've actually cut out everything prior to the fuse being lit and the theme music cue and just saved that for the bed room scene before the mission starts. And the ending ... not the climax, the ENDING... could've been a bit better done but meh... minor details considering how much pure fun you get to have in this thing.
If you haven't seen it yet, go see it and come back and re-read this and tell me if you agree. Thanks.

SILENT HILL
This is one spooky ass movie. I never played the game... not that I remember. I had heard about it but it wasn't my sort of game. Not really into these types of run around and look for clues games. Give me a game where I can shoot something. Even Resident Evil didn't work for me. My buddy, Jon, would beat the game and then I'd come over and play it. He'd handle all the tedious running around and moving things and finding clues and getting health herbs and crap and then get to a door and hand me the controller. "Bunch of zombies on the other side," he'd say and I would get all excited and run into the room, guns ablazing! Then I would hand it back to him and wait for another crowd scene.
Ok, back to Silent Hill. In a nutshell... kid gets adopted, kid sleepwalks and gets into dangerous situations scaring the adoptive parents, kid always screams "SILENT HILL" as she wakes which happens to be in same state they adopted her from so the mama (against papa's wishes) takes kid to Silent Hill,promptly loses kid and spooky shit commences.
All taht is in the trailer so don't give me grief about spoilers, ya bastiches!
Is it spooky? HELL YEAH! Is there gore? Some that's REALLY gory and some that is just kind of gory. Is there a lot of CGI? Yeah. Does it work? A lot of it. Is it SCARY? Naw.. it has some tense moments but really this is a haunted house movie.
What's the difference?
Haunted house movies are spooky... suspenseful. It's not about the jump scares so much as it is about just making you... nervous. A haunted house movie puts you on the edge of your seat and keeps you there. A scary movie likes to catch you off guard.
So Silent Hill succeeds at being that... but it isn't truly a horror movie or a scary one. Though I DO have to say it's like Carrie as if Clive Barker wrote it. Go see it and you'll understand that.

SENTINEL
Wasn't bad. Secret Service agent (Micheal Dougles) gets framed for plotting to kill president (SLEDGE HAMMER!!!) and he can't say WHY he is doing suspicious stuff or where he is since it would implicate someone else.
Another SS agent (Keifer Sutherland) is assigned to investigate with a new recruit (what the hell was her name?) who was recommended by Douglas to work with Sutherland since they used to be good buddies but aren't anymore.
Whew.
That's a lot of plot, huh? Naw. This is really just a good made-for-tv movie with a movie-movie cast. The real culprit is easy to spot and the movie plays out as expected but it's harmless and enjoyable and certainly worth a rental.

TAKE THE LEAD
Antonio Banderas does Stand and Deliver with ballroom dancing instead of math and with mostly black kids instead of latinos.
Cool. One that was easy to sum up! :)
Just don't write the movie off as a "been there, done that, still picking popcorn out my teeth" kind of movie. It's actually quite good. The dancing is amazing and makes me want to learn. Shame i would need a partner and something I've heard about called 'spare time' but oh well. The movie feels rushed even at a nearly 2 hour running time but that's a good thing. The kids are the usual gang of misfits and it's never completely explained how they would use the lessons beyond class (or if they did) and it's highly doubtful they were based on any one particular student but were probably all amalgams or creations for dramatic purposes.
No big deal. It isn't about historical accuracy. It's about the IDEA.
And the dancing.
And damn... the dancing is good.

Superman Returns... and I kind of got a mini-woody

But not in any kind of gay way!
Go check it out. Then come back.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/supermanreturns/trailer2/
All done? Ok. So I'm actually NOT dreading this anymore. Sure, I'm a tad worried about MI:III since they did a super rush job on it and X3 has Ratner taking over the reins and doing a super rush job on that one... but the actual SUPER movie looks a LOT better now. Still not too sure about Brandon as Supes and I despise the new Lois almost as much as I despise the Lana on Smallville (ptui!). Spacey looks good as Lex and the rest of the cast seems ok... and FINALLY they use the other catchphrase of the mythos!! FINALLY! I was planning a little comic about that so I'm glad I can wait now. Whew... I don't have time for it, anyway.
The effects still look too CGI-ish but that's to be expected and HOPEFULLY, like with Hulk, they will spend time to fix them and tweak them some more.
Story kind of bugs me.. Lois and son get kidnapped... yawn. They made it thru the other FOUR Superman movies without Lois EVER really getting kidnapped... Supes II doesn't count since they didn't take her until AFTER Superman was trying to lure them off.
All in all, though, I am getting a bit of an excitement thing building here. At the very least I am leaning more to the positive side.
Your thoughts?