Young and Proud

Man walks into his doctor's office and puts his right arm up as far as he can behiond his back until his fingers almost touch his shoulder and says, "Doc, it hurts when I do this."
The doctor looks at him and replies, "Then don't do that."
Seems so simple, doesn't it? Something hurt? Stop doing it. Something unpleasant? Avoid it (if possible). IF something is BAD for you, don't just sit and take it... DO something about it. And, yes, walking away IS doing something.
Sometimes... that's the BEST thing.
I know I've been tlaking a lot about the women I know lately but let's change it up a bit and deal with a feller.
Friend of mine was erally into this chick when he was younger. I think he was 18 or 19 when they first started dating. They seemed really good together and got along and had fun and all that so there wasn't anything wrong with the relationship.
But they were young. Young people don't know what the hell they're doing so they broke up and rightfully so. Both went on to make stupid choices involving other people (even some not-so-stupid ones) and eventually ran into each otehr again.
By then they were a few years older and "wiser" (relatively speaking) and tried to be friends. Of course, once they agreed to be friends they slept together. This meant they had to try again.
See? Wiser but still young and stupid. Things would go well and one week hanging out with them would be a blast while the next week could be nothing but bitching and moaning and awkward silences that would make me and other friends avoid them.
No violence.
No hatred.
No real anger.
It wasn't that they had a TERRIBLE relationship. They just had a difficult one. They would both have to work at it and could never synch up their efforts.
She would date other people during their breaks while he, loser that he was in the relationship, would basically sit and wait for her to come back.
Which she always did. She'd go off, get her heart broke or get disappointed that whatever new guy she met wasn't all that great and go back to him. The guys didn't have the sense of humor or weren't as cute or liked sports too much or whatever she could come up with.
So my friend wasn't good enough for her to commit to but these other guys weren't good enough to keep her away from him either. And since he was quite happy with HER and had learned that she WOULD come back if he just waited, he learned to wait. He showed no interest in other women. Shit, it was depressing to watch him out in bars and clubs and whatnot and women would hit on him or simply talk to him and he would act like they were just new friends.
No sealing of ANY deal, you get me?
Made everyone want to smack him upside the head.
The chick would sleep with his friend and he'd take her back.
She'd go off on some sexually perverted trip to miami and he'd take her back. (I think I'll tell THIS tale in a second.)
She'd date scum and losers and pieces of crap (BOTH of their words) and he'd take her back.
She obviously would never commit to him anywhere near as much as he committed to her but still he stayed.
Ever faithful.
Ever hopeful.
Ever retarded.
At first glance, you'd see it as undying love and devotion.
I saw fear.
He didn't know what else to do. No real confidence so he stayed with the one woman he COULD talk to and have any chance, in his mind, of wooing. That is, until she made the decision to get away. She severed all contact with the guy, met someone she COULD commit to and apparently got married. After sleeping with another one of his friends, of course.
So the same woman who took a trip to Miami in order to try and bed the cute GAY guy from her CHURCH and ended up convincing him into a threesome with a GAY guy they met in Miami only to become the third wheel since the two GAY guys were more interested in EACH OTHER than her so she came back to Jax and called him up to "confess"... she's now in her first real adult relationship and, I've heard, quite happy. None of her friends really like the guy but she does and that's enough.
So the only reason he got out of the bad relationship was because she saw it as even WORSE. She was motivated to get away and this benefitted him. Perhaps, that's what we all need... to learn how to piss off the person who's bad for US enough that THEY leave!!
I don't think that works, though.
But what do I know? I dated that chick for 10 years.

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes...

Why can't people get rid of the crap in their life when they KNOW it's bad for them? I talked about smoking and drinking and drugs to get to the main thrust when it comes to BAD addictions: PEOPLE!
Some people like to use the "baby daddy/mama" excuse for maintaining contact with people best described as "Life Pollution". They HAVE to stay in touch because they have kids together. I can buy this to an extent. It's an old story... parents staying married "for the kids". But we're talking about people who AREN'T married and only really NEED to see other during the kid exchange. I can accept wanting to stay on good terms, after all, you have no control over what that person is telling the kids behind your back, right? But come on... there should be a line!
For example, a rather attractive woman has two kids with a guy (twins), never married him but they lived together. The guy is most definitely insane with a capital FUCKING NUTSO. To prove this he set up a video camera in order to capture her hitting him.
How did he know she would hit him?
Was it because she hits him all the time? Nope... not commonplace.
Was it because he was scared she would and wanted to be prepared? Nope, he outweighs her by a good 75 pounds and is about 7 inches taller.
Was she threatening him in any way? Nope, hell she would tell me how he kept coming up for lunch and she would get excited and would talk highly about the guy.
So... what's the deal then? How did he know she would hit him?
BECAUSE HE ANTOGONIZED HER UNTIL SHE DID!
He kept pushing her buttons until she finally knocked him in the arm... twice.
He took the video camera (didn't have any bruises to show) and went to not only the cops but the Department of Children and Family.
So this great guy... the baby daddy... got the courts to take the kids away from her. Sad part was that HE coudln't get sole custody EITHER since he was part of it all.
So her parents got the kids and she got visitation.
She also got court hearing after court hearing and had to go through "anger management" classes.
He didn't.
So she kicks him out, changes locks and tells him not to come back. She doesn't want him living there and he really shouldn't anyway since it would kind of disprove the whole battery bit. So she is jumping through the governmental hoops in order to get her kids back and also trying to work and live her life.
She isn't dating this guy anymore because of this and more, she says to me one day. Well, I would certainly hope not! He sends her flowers and says sweet things to her while I try to keep her focused on the fact that, oh, I don't know...
HE TOOK HER FUCKING KIDS AWAY FROM HER!!!!
Then comes V-Day, the most hated of al Hallmark Holidays. I jokingly ask her the day after if she went out with "Baby daddy", truly expecting a 'no'.
Guess what!!!
She DID go out with him. Sort of. Seems he came over, they chatted, tried to go to dinner, he started his shit and she pushed right back and they ended up fighting for V-Day.
Yes, I know I believe that is the way it should be but the fact that she had to go through it is ridiculous.
More time has passed. He has continued to show his crazy side.
Want to know how?
Really?
Promise you won't yell out "What a stupid bitch for EVER dating that guy!"?
Ok.
Twist my arm.
Seems she came out one day and found out some fuses were missing from her car. The wipers didn't work and some other things. She assumes it was so she would call the guy she knew knew about cars.
Him.
While looking around her car she came across a strange device. Suddenly, it made sense to her how he could always manage to call her when she was at her parent's or know where she was. He wasn't just following her... he had placed a TRACKING DEVICE in her car.
Yep.
High tech stalking.
She has found video cameras around her place. Tape recorders. Otehr devices. She turned the tracking device over to the police so they could trace it.
All this sounds frightening to ME so I can only assume what it's like for any ladies reading it. This guy was grade A psychotic beefstick.
She would always talk about him and get angry after all that. She would call him names. She left the flowers up at work, she said, so she could watch them slowly die.
She didn't put water in the vase or anything.
She just. watched. them. die.
She seemed tough about it. She had grounds against him to help fight HIS attempts at sole custody of kids he didn;t really want sole custody of... he said he just didn't want to pay child support.
Yes, ladies... not only is this guy insane... he's stupid, too. Send me an email and I'll give you his name and number if you want to ask him out.
Then one day she's telling me a story of when her and a friend were getting ready to go out to a club. The guy shows up for some reason or another at her place and starts talking to her. In the interest of keeping him from flipping out she agrees to let him go with them.
Uh huh... she went OUT with this guy AGAIN.
After all that, she STILL let him tag along.
I would say I wanted to smakc her upside her head for this... I'm sure some of you feel the same way, right? Don't you just want to smack some sense into her?
Don't worry, though.
Seems he beat us all to it.
She showed me the bruises.
Thighs.
Back.
Neck.
Chest.
I worry about her.
But damn... I'm sorry... guys, listen up. If the woman you supposedly love and can't live without gets ANY sort of bruising and it's not a) a true accident or b) due to consentual rough sex... then walk the fuck away!
If you love her so much and yet can't keep from hitting her, SHOW her how much you love her by NOT being around her.
She didn't make you do a goddamn thing. I know women can push the right buttons and can be bitches but if you mark her up because YOU can't control yourself, then walk away.
Try it.
When you realize you get mad all the time because of her,don't stay around her. Find someone you DON'T get mad at! If she upsets you all the time and you feel you HAVE to bitch slap her, then WALK AWAY.
So why can't people walk away from people they KNOW are bad for them?
Anyone got any ideas?
Maybe the NEXT case study will help us sort this out.
Tune in tomorrow-ish. (What? It's FRIDAY, dammit!)

Don't turn around... just walk away

Why is it hard to walk away from something that you know is bad for you? I don't mena something that you know "deep down" is bad for you... I mean stuff that is OBVIOUSLY bad for you?
People smoke. People who smoke have no misconceptions about what smoking is doing to them. I don't care if you believe smoking causes anything... emphesema, cancer, whatever... it doesn't matter if the person thinks it actually causes a specific disease or not, all smokers know it's bad for their health. They know it makes them smell bad, taste bad, and just generally unpleasant to be around UNLESS the other people are smokers. Actually, I've even heard other smokers complain about being around smokers. They also blame smoking for just about everything wrong. The cough, the phlegm, the voice, the smell, the ratty hair, the shortness of breath... it all is from smoking. So, uh, hey genius... why the hell do you do it?
Drinkers drink. Alcoholics DRINK. I go out and enjoy a beer. I can also go out and enjoy soda. I've had some nights where I go out and enjoy MANY beers and tequila and vodka and other stuff I don't bother to question. I can drink almost every night in a week or go for months without a drop. My sister has at least three beers a day. Or four or five glasses of wine. Some days it's both. I know people who drink solely to get drunk. It helps them "deal with a bad day" or with "stress" or to "forget their problems". It's not the cause that bothers me as much as the lack of moderation. Going out and getting shit faced with friends is fine and dandy even if only a weekly thing. But when it's a DAILY thing, I worry about people. Drinkers also know what it's doing to them. They know that they may not be the best person when drunk. Hell, a lot of people love to use that as an excuse! "Oh, I wouldn't normally have taken my shirt and bra off and slept with those three guys in the club's bathroom but, well, shit I was DRUNK!" Actually, they pronounce it "dru-uuuuu-unk". See, when the word is stretched out like that, it means they were REALY REALLY REALLY drunk. Like using all caps. :) Drinkers also know it's not the best thing for their liver or bladder or kidneys or anything. "I'm gonna go kill some brain cells". I've killed many a useless chunk of grey matter in my day, don't get me wrong. I am not above any of this criticism since I know what I do is not the healthiest way to live but at least I can go more than a day without it.
People do drugs. Pot, coke, crack, heroin, E, X, acid, whatever. Freon, for god's sake. Whip-its? Oy! PAIN MEDS!!! Except for most pot smokers, drug users understand the damage being done. They can see themselves changing in a mirror and in their more lucid moments will admit to not being happy about it. Sadly, this just makes them get MORE so they can forget about it or just not feel so bad about it. Too many pot smokers still like to believe that no damage is being done... at least admit that it's not healthy. You don't have to admit it's a gateway drug or anything like that since I know that's not true for EVERYONE... for some folks, yes. I only believe that in certain cases but accept that it's possible in all. Just like cigarettes, smoke going into lungs should just SEEM like a bad idea, regardless of impact. They all feel good, I'm sure. All the drugs. Reminds me of the comedian explaining drugs (Williams or Carlin, can't remember which... must be all the drinkin!)... "Drugs feel great! We aren't STUPID, if they were terrible, we wouldn't do them!" Little picture view blocking the big picture.
So why am I suddenly thinking about all this now? Because it ain't the above things that I wanted to discuss.
Nope.
Those are easy to defend.
Cigarettes, alcohol and drugs are all addictive. Some more than others. Hell, you can even argue reckless living is addictive... good ol' adrenalin!
No sir, I wanted to talk about the OTHER bad addiction (not myspace)...
PEOPLE.
Yes, people.
We all know at least one person who is with another person and shouldn't be. You hear them bitch non-stop about him/her. You have to usualy ASK to hear something GOOD about the other person and even then it's a backhanded compliment.
"He's not always an asshole."
"She only cheated on me once."
"I know he didn't expect me to fall down the stairs when he threw the bag at me."
Lately, it's been worst among women.
Ok, not really LATELY so much as ALWAYS.
I know, personally, I've been in situations where I probably should walk away from the person and not look back. I know that I just don't like to admit defeat and quit. I tend to want to try to work things out. I have to have concrete evidence thrust in my face that it is pointless to try before I give up. Even then I usually continue talking with the woman. I can't help it. But I aslo know taht when I see these woman and listen to their stories... well, I just know I would NEVER have been able to get away with even HALF the shit these guys do.
One woman I know came home to find an ex's clothes in the hamper, some food missing from the fridge and an apparent "lived in" look that had changed in the place. That's right, the ex STILL had a key that she didn't know he had and came over, ate HER food, watched HER tv and left HIS clothes in HER hamper for HER to wash. She calls the landlord to have the locks changed so she doesn't have to talk to the guy to get the key back. Good for her, I said. Then she asked a male friend (husband,separated/baby daddy) to swing over theere since he was off and watch the place for if the ex came back. Weird way to do it but the thought was strong! This was all revealed to me Monday. By Wednesday, the "ex" had not only been back by but she tells me today... ugh... she tells me she put her foot down and told him he had to start sleeping on the couch because his coughing and such from his cold was keeping her awake.
Because he was sleeping in her bed.
With her.
"Oh," she laughed, "it was so cute... he knocked when he came over!" She giggled for a good minute after that. Seems he thought she had ALREADY changed the locks. Nope. Silly man.
I wanted to slap her SO hard.
Oh, but wait... want a better one?
Tune in tomorrow!
(But feel free to start commenting.)

Scary Movie 4, The Wild, Thank You For Not Smoking (and Lucky Number Slevin, just in case)

Scary Movie 4
First off, I feel compelled to explain that I giggled osme at the first two but overall felt they were crap. The Wayans family peaked in the parody genre with I'm Gonna Git You Sucka! When the Zuckers took over the franchise, I gave it a shot and was pleasantly surprised. I went into SM4 expecting to laugh and giggle like i did with #3. Granted, the trailers made the film seem heavy on Grudge and War of the Worlds references with some Village thrown in... this would be the first one where I HADN'T seen all the movies being used but 2/3 should be sufficient. Or so I thought.. especially since I never saw the film that Airplane was based on. Funny is funny.
How sad.
If you've seen the trailers, you've seen the "highlights". If you laughed at the trailers, consider yourself lucky. You may be able to go into this film and enjoy it but really... I just doubt it. It was as pure a waste of time as I can think of recently.
And I saw Pink Panther.
Lucky Number Slevin was funnier. Oh, crap. Have I talked about that one yet? I don't feel like checking so I'll quickly cover Slevin... it's VERY british without having brits in it. Think Snatch and Lock Stock with american actors. Bruce Willis is awesome and the script is fun to listen to... what Kevin Smith should be able to do once he stops focusing on stoner jokes. Go see it, it's fun!
Unlike Scary Movie 4. The guy playing Tom Cruise sucks. Anna Farris is wasted in this piece of crap and I really wish she would've turned them down but I can understand why she wouldn't. Chris Elliott has managed to start annoying me again and Carmne Electra should just go ahead and only agree to appear in a movie if she can be naked because there really is nothing else redeeming about the woman and time will quickly make even THAT a non-option. So it just leaves the audience having to rely on the jokes for entertainment.
Yawn.
The Wild
Disney does Madagascar but not as well. The animation is amazing and technically near-flawless. The voice talent could've been great... Keifer Sutherland leading, Jeanine Giraffe-lo (ba dum bum), Jim Belushi, Eddie Izzard, Patrick Warburton, William FUCKING Shatner... and still it just never gells.
Why?
One reason... the story is flat out weak. Like Chicken Little before it (and probably Cars to come), Disney has been having trouble with CG flicks. Not from the animation side but the story side. They've been dull, lifeless, joyless tales of fathers/sons and finding yourself. Ugh. Even the young kids couldn't maintain interest. Even the apparently Disney required dance number during the credits couldn't hold their eyes on the screen. It's bad enough having the kids THERE but when they're bored, I just wnat to hurt the little bastards.
Do not waste your time with this unless you're a parent and your kid won't shut up about it.
OR you are studying animation.
Otherwise, go see Lucky Number Slevin.
OR go see...
Thank You for Not Smoking
Funnier than Scary Movie 4. More educational and featuring a better father/son story than The Wild.
The story of a lobbyist...well, THE lobbyist for Big Tobacco and how he does his job and deals with a son reaching that impressionable age. Is he without morals or simply better able to ignore them? Will he change at the end or stay the same? What is the film saying about such people? About the people AGAINST Big Tobacco?
Actually, it is saying the same thing about them both... both are in it for themselves.
But damn it if it isn't funny. I laughed out loud several times. Giggled many other times. Smiled through most of the film.
I can't say enough good things about it, honestly. Go see it. Enjoy a wonderful cast doing some really great material.
Like Slevin.

Shit that gets in my way

Most people who know me have heard me rant at one time or another about shit that gets in my way. I hate it. It's annoying. I can tolerate it when there's no real choice, sure, but when there's no sense to the obstruction it seriously pisses me off.
Like a slow car (meaning 'doing speed limit') on a crowded two lane road is one thing and I can deal with it for a short time ut someone in the fast lane on I295 and wanting ME to change lanes to pass them... THAT is bullshit.
Old people in the mall.
Children in the mall.
Anyone else in the mall.
Or at an amusement park.
The guy who wants to hold the elevator door open for someone over 100 feet away from the damn thing while I'm running late to work.
Or even when I'm running early.
I hate rush hour traffic and I hate stupid crowds. Traffic makes no sense and I have discussed that before. Crowds just annoy me. Leave enough room so those people who know where the hell they're going can get by, damn it!
But my issue with things in my way don't simply revolve around wnating to get someplace. Over the past decade I have come to learn just how much of a pet peeve the concept is for me.
Let's run down the list, mm-kay?
Piercings:
I love flesh and when I've with a woman I love being able to kiss (and more) all over. Unfettered access to all the good fleshy bits.
I am a belly nut... love me some belly. Belly button piercings are a cruel invention designed to hurt the tongue and lip!
The same is true of clit piercings. The lower lips is just as annoying but when it's right on the hood... man, oes that get in the way of some fun oral. Yes, I know it's for HER pleasure but, dammit, it's in MY way! And given my natural playfulness, the "clacka clacka" sounds of the metal on my teeth put me in a playing mood that goes against the whole point of me being down there.
Lip rings ruin some otherwise good kissing.
Tongue studs don't necessarily get in my way but they CAN be annoying. Makes french kissing feel like navigating a maze.
I've learned to accept ear piercings though I get VERY excited anytime the things come out. LOBE TIME!!!
I just don't understand eyebrow piercings but they're out of the way so meh... no reason to talk about them here.
Clothes:
I only mean clothes during sex. Women who feel the need to remain fully clothed while in the privacy of the bedroom, even when the lights are OFF... I mean, what the hell is up with that? I can understand a good old fashioned heat of the moment, just pulling the panties to the side kind of deal but EVERY DAMN TIME?!?! "Um, can the bra and shirt come completely OFF this time?"
Sexy clothes are fine during the run up and foreplay time but nekkid sex is the best! Unless out in public then discretion is fine.
Clothes just get in my way of fully appreciating who I am with and enjoy the feel of the fleshy bits.
Interlude:
I just want it stated that I am NOT some Buffalo Bill type of sicko. When I say I love flesh I just mean I enjoy the texture and feel and taste of it. Especially when you use several different sources to make the perfect sweater vest. Kidding. I just enjoy the intimacy that exposed flesh allows.
And yes, I know this is a rather sexual blog... but that was the nature of the request and I am trying to stick to that.
Tattoos:
There is nothing worse than when a woman abuses her beautiful skin by marking it up with god awful colors and designs. Wow, you REALLY think that dumbass butterfly makes your hip look better? Ivy brings out the color of your shoulder, huh? A pixie on your ankle makes you feel pretty?
Bullshit!
Just like make up NOT being used to cover complexion issues or scars, tats do NOTHING to improve upon the beauty of a woman. You are all fine as you WERE and it's jarring to be taking a tour of you and suddenly come across some celtic symbol that SUPPOSEDLY stands for "purity" or some other such nonsense. It's like a commercial during the good part of a movie. They just get in my way of enjoying you. BAH!
Threesomes or moresomes:
I have really no interest in threesomes or orgies or anything like that. I really do enjoy the one-on-one stuff. Why? One word - FOCUS. I like to be able to really know who I'm with and I try to use all the verbal and non-verbal cues I can to do this. Just as lying and faking something gets in the way of me being able to do that, so too would another person. Even if I knew the two women VERY wellafter one-on-one time(s)... or the other guy was a buddy who I could trust... I just know at some point I am going to want to shift position and run smack into someone's ass or something. I should only need to "ask" for persmission from one person and not have to negotiate the troop movements by committee vote. And i sure don't need for an otherwise intensely sexual moment to turn into a pushing match while I scream out "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY, WOMAN!"
Seems like a mood killer.

Ok, I need to get ready for the movie so I need to wrap this up here. If i didn't cover everything, please let me know and I'll get back to it either by editing or in the comments.
Everyone have a happy easter!

Shudder and spurt

A couple of things to share... first, go to http://www.devo2-0.com/whipit and enter the code "whipit1" to get a free download of this thing and then listen. Dear god, this is worse than the A*Teens!!

Next up, though, is something for FUN... assuming you aren't easily offended, of course.
http://www.devilducky.com/media/43846/
Speaking of being offended...
I don't care WHAT your faith is, if you aren't able to accept that some people looking at it don't believe the same thing or possibly even look at you like you're crazy for believing it, then I feel bad for you.
People are freaking out over the Judas Gospel (STILL!?!?!? man, get over it!) and others. The DaVinci code had more people talking about the "theories" and such BEHIND the book than about the plot or the style or anything else (btw, book was fine... fun to read and still has some nice ideas, true or not). Just deal with the fact that not everyone is going to buy YOUR faith and you'll get along better with others. Don't expect people to fit into YOUR view of what a "good" person should be doing. As long as no one is UNWILLINGLY getting hurt, what's the big deal? I mean, I don't like drugs and don't want to associate with the hardcore abusers but it doesn't mean I haven't hung out with someone who does them before and give them the benefit of the doubt. As long as they respect MY wishes to not be around the stuff, we have normally gotten along well. Same is true for the OVERLY faithful.
But people are DYING over their faith and, worse still, KILLING because of it, too! 9/11? Ireland? Waco? And what kills me is that all these similar faiths all preach about a LOVING god who will reward them AFTER. IF the god is so loving and caring, why do they see life like it's all god's television set (a throwback to a highschool discussion none of you will get, porobably)? We're here for his amusement? Like when a kid puts two different types of bugs or ant colonies into the same jar to watch them fight. How do they accept BOTH realities?
Thou shalt not commit murder... unless it's in the name of god.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods... unless you think it belongs to YOUR god.
The is only one god and allah is his name... A-L-LAH... A-L-LAH... A-L-LAH and allah was his name-o!
The jews are bad because they killed jesus... even though that's what he was here for.
Judas is the bad guy in the jesus tale... because he did what jesus needed/wanted him to do.
Dinosaurs didn't exist because the bible doesn't mention them. I don't have a smart ass comment for that one, sorry.
Religion has gotten WAY out of hand in this country. Part of me blames Bush but then I realize he just took advantage of 9/11 hysteria in helping further his own political agenda (ok, the agenda of his party controllers) and faith was the easiest way to 'unite' the people. I imagine most anyone would've done the same thing. It was just too easy to do.
But now we need to stop it. We need to realize that while this country was founded primarily by christians, it was founded on the principles of FREEDOM of religion. This would/should include freedom to NOT have religion. So what if a lot of buildings and documents and sayins from these founding fathers have christian mythology spread throughout them. So what if they claim the ten commandments were important when thinking about the laws of the land. Think about it... don't steal, don't kill, and don't lie..' those were the only ones really put into law. The rest of the ten, pretty much ignored. Affairs aren't illegal, remember? They'll just put you at the bottom of the barrel during a divorce hearing. You can fuck all the people you want, married or otherwise, as long as they ain't kids and you don't try to marry all of them.
Oh, yeah, and they also had slaves. But all men are created equal.
And mistresses. But marriage was important.
Argh.

Ice Age 2 and Eight Below

Ice Age 2
First off, let me say that I was not a huge fan of the first one. Skrat was funny, of course, and some of the moments were giggle worthy (the birds!!) but overall it was just blah. The animation was ok... except for the humans... and the plot wasn't TOO kiddy-minded. I bought it cheap but still... I DID buy it.
So I wasn't exactly RUNNING to the theatre to see the second one. I waited until Sunday to see it. Friday I saw Slither. THAT one I went running to the theatre for. With all that in mind...
Ice Age 2 was better than the first. The animation worked better, looked better, WAS better. The story, while likely to induce mass vomitting in any scientist (or wannabe) watching it, still has enough endearing qualities and bits for all the characters that it works. Skrat is STILL the highlights which is sad if you've seen the commercials. Why? Well, you've seen almost ALL the Skrat bits. Stupid Ad Men!! But you still have the possum brothers! They're fun as hell and beautifully animated! Skrat stands out because he's quiet but the Possum brothers talk AND have the silent acting bits that are a real treat for those paying attention.
Which is hard when you have kids all around you. Oh, but this time it wasn't the kids who were the biggest distraction. Oh, no... it was the GRANDMOTHER who was trying to GET her grandkids interested in the movie. Shame she didn't have the patience to let the MOVIE do that. The bitch wouldn't stop talking about what was on the screen. I almost thought the kids were blind until she said "See that?! That's SKRAT!!"
NO shit, lady! See this? It's my foot kicking your throat!
But the movie is fine. Go see it. Avoid old people.
Eight Below
Paul Walker really can't act very well. It's odd how that doesn't stand out as much when he's opposite Vin Diesel or Jessica Alba but it becomes glaringly apparent when acting opposite 8 dogs... or Jason Biggs. And the dogs had several scenes where they were CLEARLY looking to the trainer. What's Paul's excuse?
And, sure, being a guy I tend to forgive this in attractive WOMEN (cough... Alba, again... cough) but not so much in the pretty boys. Brad can act. Tom can act. Leo can't. Paul can't. The dogs can follow direction. So can Paul. And he does it better than Cuba did in his own dog movie.
Snow Dogs not Boyz n Da Hood.
Anywho, the story itself takes FOREVER to get underway. We get to meet Paul and JAson and everyone else. We learn their jobs. We meet the dogs. We learn they work on Antarctica and we get to SEE Antarctica (still beautiful but for the best shots see March of the Penguins!) and we learn what the dogs are for. We meet the incoming scientist who wants to do a dangerous thing and we learn that Paul helps him and then the danger parts start. But see, everyone knows the movie is about the dogs getting left alone at the south pole of the world (8 Below, get it? meh) and yet it takes for frickin EVER to get to that point. Then we get to go back and forth from the dogs surviving (sort of) and Paul 'acting' the part of survivor's guilt... or is it guilt of leaving family behind... or the sadness from thinking you left friends to die... or is it the pain of just not knowing? Oh, jesus, Paul... PCIK ONE ALREADY!!!
Ok, Ok, Ok, enough about Paul. The movie is good and exciting and heart warming and tear jerking and all that. But it's in SPITE of PW and BECAUSE of the dogs.
And Jason Biggs.
Waht?
I like Jason Biggs.
Shut up.

Let's go over the films I've seen.

V For Vendetta
I liked it the first time I saw it... had a bit TOO much "Wachowski-isms" in it but then again, so does Alan Moore's writing. Both love words and language and such but the Wachowskis bring a certain sci-fi flare to it all. Good for them. It helped pick up would could've been just a bunch of talking and blowing shit up! Is it bad that the terrorist is the "good guy"? No. Not at all. They never claim he's SANE or RIGHT, just right that THIS government is BAD and needs to be removed. But they give so much supporting evidence of this, you can't help but cheer him on. Sure, the anarchy angle is all but gone... it's not about anarchy and chaos... it's about revolution and making people remember that the government shoulld be OF us, FOR us and BY us.
Natalie Portman is amazing in it... one of her best performances in a long time. Her break down scene alone should get her an award nomination. Itwon't, of course... it's "sci-fi" and "comic book" stuff. John Hurt is fucking INCREDIBLE in it. The man does most of his stuff while staring at the screen and STILL manages an unbelievably chilling performance. He WAS the only good thing about that Skeleton Key movie and the old fart never really TALKED in that one. Don't believe me? Go check out the Chancellor Sutler profile on my MySpace friends list. Stephen Rea was there and doing a LOT of work as the detective but also as MAN... no, not The Man but MAN. We weren't meant to really identify and follow Evi or V or anyone else but the detective. His is the eyes and ears and mind that is our entry into this world and the one who will help us understand and accept the message of the film. That's a lot to expect from one character and one actor but Stephen pulls it off. And V? Hell yeah Hugo WeaVing... sure the mask gets in the way at times but still... wow... THIS is the type of performance that CGI animators need to watch and think about when doing their effects. The guy managed to ACT thru a mask with NO eye slits and NO mouth exposed. And to think Stallone wouldn't let Judge Dredd keep the helmet on too long. BAH!
The second time was better for me because you can really see all the planning they put into this thing. No changes to the material were made willy nilly and they showed that they really understood what each change would impact and what could remain. It's powerful and truly worth at least a first look. But if you LIKED it that first time, go see it again.
This is also true about...
The Inside Man
Saw this one twice, too, and the second viewing lets you really catch all the details. It's a good heist flick with some wonderful acting from everyone. Denzel shows he is still worth his price tag and damn if Christopher Plummer don't deserve more work!! Everyone in it was pulling out all the stops and giving their all. And to think... it's a SPIKE LEE joint!!! JEez... the man deserves respect. He's gotten to be a damn fine director.
Especially since he stopped acting in his own movies.
I really can't say too much about this... most of the plot is easy to figure out since it has appeared (or at least some of it) in one film or another. It's not about the HEIST but the characters in it. It's watching DENZEL's Detcve Frazer deal with the situation that makes you want to watch.
Much like...
16 Blocks
It's not about whether Bruce Willis and Mos Def survive the day... it's how they DEAL with it. It's not about who the bad cops are and why they're doing it... it's about why Bruce and Mos aren't giving up! Wonderful movie that kept me glued. And not a moment is wasted in the film. While Inside Man may have gone all Return of the King on the ending(s), this sucker plows ahead from the get go... we get a moment to meet Bruce and get a feel for his character... same with Mos and then BANG! off we go. No letting up until the end. Thank God Richard Donner is BACK!!!
Ok, I'm sleepy so that's all you get. I'll be back to talk about Slither, Ice Age 2 and 8 Below later.