Why boy scouts piss me off.

I have never been able to make plans more than a few days in advance and have any of them go according to.. uh... well, PLAN. People wonder why I tend to be more spontaneous and last minute in what I do, but that's why. Becuase I got tired of making arrangements for a couple of weeks out and watching them fall apart. Sometiumes they don't go to crap until the very last second. Like this past weekend.
Friday was Jeff Dunham. I had initially bought the tickets at the suggestion of a woman who for some reason stopped talking to me. Seriously, I don't understand why. We've since talked and she had no excuses. Ugh. So I asked a co-worker. This was weeks ago. She said yes and all was ok. We slowly made further arrangements for the evening... dinner first, comedy show and then whatever else we thought of doing.
Saturday was going to be a visit to Twisted Martini. I got invited (indirectly) to a b-day party for NEXT Saturday and wanted to make sure it was a place I could stand since I willl be pretty much on my own at the thing. I brought it up to several friends and got almost 100% positive RSVP's. It was to be me and about 6-8 other people. Maybe more with a few later additions. I was going to go to the Highland Games in the morning (around 9) and then stay there all day, come home and relax, clean up and head to TM to meet up with my friends aorund 9PM.
Sunday I would rest.
Sounds like a fun weekend, right?
Oy.
So, first of all, my co-worker kind of flipped out and started worrying that I was being "lead on" by the fact that she is nice to me or something. Sure, I joke around and sure she's an attractive woman (I'm not dead, married or blind so I can't hide my appreciation of that) but at the same time it's never been any secret that she has no interest. Not just in ME but in "dating" at all. She's in her "I like being single" phase and I refuse to damage that for ANYONE. Not to mention certain other issues that would beed to be worked out before I could really generate more interst than "she's fun to talk to and we've had a couple of fun outings and conversations" and "she's pretty". Those who know me know one of my fave sayings... "Pretty is fine and all but you can't TALK to pretty." Anywho, she got a little uncomfy because of a joke text I sent out to a LOT of people. I was listening to the Bellamy Brothers and one of their best songs came on so I sent the title to people. Most knew what I was referencing immediately. Sadly, my co-worker did not. It was an unfortunate misunderstanding... right up there with "I'm bored, wanna make out?" but this time it cost me my company to the show. Thankfully, my buddy Kevin stepped up and agreed to come. We met up at D&B for dinner (I'll talk about that LATER) and then headed out to the show. Aftert the show, we racked our brains to think of something more to do and used the folio weekly to see what was happenin' 'bout town! Not a damn thing, it turns out. We went to Square one to check out Boogie Freaks. They were good, the place sucked.
Real quick... Jeff Dunham is effin HEE-Larry-US! If he's ever nearby, make sure you go check him out. He repeated some material from his last visit but more than 75% was brand spanking new. I can't say I am all that impressed with the Atlantic Theatres... the sound sucked and the tables were crappy but they had beer and the comedians (all three) were good.
Overall, I still enjoyed my night (thanks, Kev!) but it was nowhere NEAR what had been planned.
Then came Saturday. Jessica had stayed out too late at flogging molly (go here to read more about that) so she slept in. We got to the Highland Games around noon, just in time for the opening ceremonies. You can read HER blog for more info on that. She covered it pretty well and I will discuss it more when I have time to upload the pics.
I got home earlier than expected so I relaxed some and took a nap. I woke up and got ready. While heading out to TM, after having received several confirms, I started to get the bad news. I got there right around 845PM and had laready heard the bad news from a couple of people. Then the one who was SO damn adamant about being there finally said she couldn't make it due to family drama. The last remaining person didn't come because she had forgotten about plans with her cuz. I can't complain too much because this will become a saving grace VERY soon. Anyway, TM was celebrating it's one year anniversay all week long by giving out frree beer and cocktails from 9-10. Had Jessica not been there, I wouldn't have known this so thank GOD she was!! Anywho, after enjoying manby, many drinks, it became clear we wouldn't enjoy STAYING there so we left. I had mentioned what my friend was doing with her cuz and Jessica said "that sounds like fun!"
If you went over to her blog, you know where this is going.
We met up with April and her cousin at the Metro (after getting lost... again... worse than when we went to the HLG in the morning... hey, Jon, guess what, Jessica and I get lost almost as bad as you and I do!) and started to enjoy some interesting people watching. We watched a dance contest and played "male or female?" It's a fun game where everyone wins. Then we went back to watch the drag show. It wasn't that much fun the last time I went but I had a lot more going on the last time.
Remind me to tell you that story one day. I am always happy to tell it in person but it might make a good entry someday.
Anywho, there were some damn spooky guys there in how much they looked feminine. I KNOW that shit ain't cheap to get done and some had everything done. I mean, EVERYTHING. There is only SO much you can hide by tucking the pecker under!! And Jessica had a guy buy her a drink!! How cool is that?!?! She didn't mention that in her blog! Some guy came up and bought her a drink. I was so proud of her! Granted, he was gay... but still. Most of the guys there ARE. It seems that out of every guy there, maybe 5-10% are straight. Out of the women there, maybe 50% are straight. Women are weird when it comes to that. There were a lot of FAKE lesbians there. They annoy me. And bi chicks REALLY piss me off. I think it's my sister's influence but still... what a bunch of BS. PICK AN ORIENTATION, DAMMIT!
So...again, nowhere NEAR what I had planned but still... had some great and wholesome family fun. :)
Plus, got to meet an old high school chum that I hadn't seen SINCE. That was weird. We weren't friends in high school. I mean, we knew each other but it was more we knew OF than actually KNEW. It's nice to be surprised. I can only hope she was just as surprised by me. All she really said, besides fuck you and asshole, was that she remembered me being shorter. I told her she shrank.
Sunday did end up being a day of rest. I finalyl got up and out and saw Pink Panther in the afternoon with a new friend and then spent time with someone who has been ignoring me for quite some time. Sadly, I only had so many hours in the day and really needed more so I could hang out with my friends. I need to get around several (sorry, I missed you!) but I work the next three nights!
Argh.
I need a better paying DAY job so I can quit the night one!
Any ideas?Anywho, gotta run. Almost dinner time and I need to shower.

To put right what once went wrong...

It's all coming apart. The glue that held this reality I've deluded myself into believing is losing its sticky. I know suicide is a coward's way out but am faced with too many friends lately who have a definite yellowish tint. I watch as people debate sacrificing so much for so little... a whim... a game... a gesture to a man who no longer cares to consider thinking about possibly remembering who they could've been at one time.
Life.
It's wasted on the living.
They walk around and party and drink and smoke and fuck and eat and work and talk but living is beyond their grasp.
They're biding their time until their time is up.
They're waiting out the reaper.
Some seem to think the last chance at control is when the end comes but also seem to say that when it's someone's time to go, it's their time. IF that's the case then how do they know that they choose to do it themselves at THEIR time because it IS their time?
Oh, but wait. I forgot. Logic has no place in this conversation. Neither does faith. Nor compassion, it feels. To talk to them is to be met with condescension and disdain. I couldn't possibly understand what they're going thru. Probably not. I know pain. I know MY pain. I know what I'VE been thru and what I'm GOING thru and I know nothing has ever made me think for a second to give up.
I am nothing if not persistent.
***********************
Whatever happened to romance? I don't mean hearts and flowers and candy and dates and so on. I mean actual romantic FEELINGS!! When did dating become a job interview? When did courtship become a race to the bedroom or the altar, depending on those involved.
I want to get married. I want kids. I want a family around me. I just want it with the right woman. Fun is fun and I am enjoying the fun but once the right woman presents herself as such, the fun is over... so to speak. I never make a secret out of the fact that I do hang out or go out or make out with people. I don't want to hide anything. I want to get to know people and learn about them. I spent over a decade of my life obsessed and committed to one woman and she destroyed me. I am hesitant to run that risk again so instead I play it SO safe that I am possibly missing out. Women meet someone else and move on. They get married and live happily ever after. I am happy for them. I am happy for all of them because the truth of the matter is
**********************
I'm tired. I don't sleep as well as I should. I don't eat as well as I should. I work too much and play too much and say too much. I need to take time for myself and just relax. I need to get away from everyone. I need to get away from myself. I find myself alone with myself and hating the company and that's just not me. That's not how I was or how I want to be. That's simply wrong. But... I know I can;t do that because I will miss my friends. Maybe that is the problem: I've become dependent on other people. I never got bored before. I was always able to enjoy myself no matter what, no matter where. My imagination was my friend any time real people weren't around. I just never got bored. Now I find myself bored a lot. I find myself wanting to go out all the time and be around people but at the same time I don't want to hold them back. I don;t want to be in the way. When I meet up with a group and they are already having fun... I feel I shouldn't interfere with it. That's not me, either, dammit!
**************************
I miss my dad.
I barely knew the guy but I miss him.
I barely got along with him while he was alive but I miss him.
I can't say for sure he knew I loved him or how much.
I can't say for sure if he'd be proud of me but I doubt it.
I miss my dad but what bothers me the most...
I am more worried about when mom goes. When she goes, the family will drift apart. I'm not close to my siblings. I live with my sister and we're strangers. I see my other sister several times a week and we can go a month without saying a word to each other. My brother has always been someone I didn't understand or know and yet we're supposedly so much alike.
I miss my dad.
**************************
Stop me if you've heard this one....
**************************
Reality as a concept needs to be rethought. I am losing control. My thoughts aren't coherent or cohesive or cooperating. I can't remember some basic things and I can't form new memories. I forget names the same as always but now forget stories, too. I never forgot a story before. That was how I remembered things... I remembered people by the stories they told. I can't do that anymore. I'm losing control of my mind. I'm scared of who will TAKE control once I completely relinquish it. I'm scared of myself. I worry for other people and have to fight the urge to scare them away. For my own selfish reasons I deny them their own good.
I am not a nice man. I am a bad man.
Wait... strike that, reverse it.
I am a dangerous man. I need to be stopped. I need to stop fighting my destiny. My reason for being here. I am the Sam Beckett of relationships. My job is simply to leap in, fix the damage done by the previous dick, get her up and running like she should where she likes herself and realizesd her value and then leap on. Just like with Sam, I never get to decide when I leap. Unlike with Sam, I know who IS doing it. I need to stop trying to control it.
I need to finish what I've started and move on.
I've been here too long and have done all the good I can do. I think it's time I leapt out of here.
Maybe then I can regain myself and find someone who will deem me worthy.
I belong in a relationship. It's home to me.
Or I don't and it's not.
Oh, just ignore me... I'm just talking nonsense.

Absentee friends, accidents, and office big brothers

That's right, folks... it's time for another RANDOM RANT ROUNDUP!!!
BOO-YAW!
One of my biggest pet peeves is the "Disappearing Act". I hate this shit. This is when someone who doesn't want to be your friend anymore or maybe just doesn't want to talk for either a bit or forever doesn't say "BYE" or "GFY!" or anything... they just disappear. This is the equivalent on MySpace of the unexpected block (You go back to post on a blog and find out your blocked and don't know why... that one). But this is REAL LIFE! This goes back to my old dating days with my EX-ex, Pam. She was big on this. She would get mad at me for some reason and just stop taking calls or replying. Now, keep in mind much of our dating was pre-net craze and we didn't have computers so emails and messaging weren't too big a part of this yet. That would happen later. I would leave a note on her car (text messaging ), a message on her home answering machine that her parents could here or get a message thru a mutual friend... but she would be completely GONE. Later on I would get this from the first woman I seriously dated POST-Pam. We were getting along GREAT and going well for months when all of a sudden, poof! She was gone! LAter I found out she was trying to "teach me a lesson" by standing me up that weekend she was moving but when she finally moved, she found out the new place wasn't exactly "computer ready" and her cell phone was actually the property of her former employer who kept it. There went her having MY number and me knowing how to find HER. Was more a fluke that I finally got ahold of her while she went to the library to check email since normally I would be working at that time. We got back together, I was more cautious at that point and I thought she understood that. After another month and a half, she completely disappeared. I went to her old work place and was told "she's supposed to be in the kitchen but she's not there" and she wasn't at the old apartment. Gone. I saw her online on yahoo messenger and sent her a 'hi, you ok?' message and got no repsonse. So I still have no idea what happened and why she cut me off so cleanly. And I hate that.
But it's not the ONLY example! It has been happening a lot to me lately. People who apparently don't like confrontation or don't see me as deserving the respect inherent with giving an explanation. I am not stupid, I know I can't argue it (I'll try but acknowledge that failure is imminent) but I would rather hear the woman just doesn't think we can be friends or that she met someone else or that she is just too busy or something than NOTHING. Hell, one woman blocked me so fast she never even got to hear my explanation. She accused me of being racist because I told her what my FRIENDS had said about a certain club in town. I tried to stress that I was relating what my friends had said about it and that it was intended to convey certain information but she had already blocked me. WTF?!?! I've gone on a date where all seemed to go well and the woman went inside after talking to me for another hour at her door making plans for the next date and then NOTHING. No reply or callback or email or anything. I HATE that. If I am done with you, I will tell you. Ask Johanna! :) And even then, I am not adamant about it. I will still talk to people and stuff... probably won't hang out anymore but I still talk. This is all I'm saying. I hate the disappearing act SO much.
*************************************
Within the past week and a day, I have seen an accident every day. Sometimes more than one. I can't avoid them. And three times I have WATCHED the accident happen. Heading out to Yonder Mountain LAST Friday (not last night) with Jessica, great show by the way, we were talking about car accidents we had been in. Just as she (finally) finished telling the story of hers, I looked up at the light on Hodges and Atlantic (I think) and RIGHT in front of us in the intersectiongoing Hodges way, we were on Atlantic, two cars just ran smack into each other. We were dumbstruck. I debated on getting out to check on them but the car closest had already done that. I debated on calling the cops but I could see most everyone was already on their own cells. So this left me and Jessica with only one thought, "Why did it have to be in OUR lane?!" Is that selfish?
And I caught some gruff from co-workers on Monday because I got caught in that 2 hour plus wait on 295. That accident where a car drifted across the median and hit a couple of cars stopping the whole southbound way COMPLETELY. I had JUST missed the accident by being late... if I'd have left on time I would have either SEEN it or been IN it so not sure what to think about that. But the helicopters came, several firetrucks, many ambualnces, a bunch of cops and a few tow trucks. It was a MESS. And when I got to work and tried to explain it all I said the phrase I didn't know I REALLY meant until I said it, "I hope whoever caused it died!"
HELL, YEAH! Stupid drivers need to be removed from the travel lanes! According to the news, this guy doesn't even remember what happened. Good for him. Neither does that guy he killed. See, that's the sucky part. While I AM glad SOMEONE died... it makes the time I spent there somehow more meaningful... don't know why so don't ask... but it SHOULD'VE been the dumbass who CAUSED it. Instead it was an older gentleman that the guy hit. That's effed up in my mind.
But my co-workers are STILL talking about the whole "someone better be dead" thing. GET OVER IT, ALREADY! Maybe I should show them that disturbing thoughts entry... hmmmm.
************************************
Was at work yesterday... work is BORING and the only thing helping me maintain sanity is being able to check blogs and comments and replying or sending email thru work. That's it. When I joined the company, I was forced to read all these guidelines and procedurals and all that BS and it states right in there that they EXPECT some personal use of such things and are ok with it as long as we aren't bringing viruses into the system or not doing any work. As long as our numbers are good, they are supposed to be ok with it. But yesterday word came down they were "doing a sting" and trying to catch folks. A few got FIRED for net usage... now I don't know if it was because it was excessive or just an excuse to get rid of crappy people but still, it's the IDEA. Do lazy, dumb as fuck, tech guys have NOTHING bettr to do? Does management REALLY believe such controls will make the workers BETTER? Although, thinking back... the way the people there reacted when we got casual fridays back... you'd think their Jesus had come down and gave them a million bucks.
But you know what REALLY amazes me? They are sticklers about the dress code even though we rarely see anyone outside the work group... the ig bosses or clients rarely ever tour OUR floor. We are monitored to make sure we don't do anything on the net even though most of the known bad sites are already blocked, which is why I can't send messages through myspace or even see friend requests. We have to scan our badge at every door and floor... except the second floor where the secret service is... go figure. We have ALL these rules and restrictions about what can be posted on our cube walls... they asked me to take down the poster for Into The Blue cause of how Paul Walker and Jessica Alba were dressed and also suggested I take down the poster for Exorcism of Emily Rose because of its religious overtones. WTF?!? I took down Into the Blue but complained since a manager has JUST the Alba half of the poster on HIS desk. I refused to take down Emily cause I like that poster. I have a mini-one at work and the full one. But, again, restrictions! They do all these things to control us and yet...
I didn't have to take a drug test to get in. No one has. So all I think about when I look around is, "All these up tight fucks are probably high right now."
*************************************
Why DO black people talk in the theatre? Seriously, is it genetic? I know it's not JUST black people or not ALL black people but 19 times out of 20, if you hear someone talking and look.. it's black people. This has been an issue lately because I am often right near the most talkative ones. Much like the ones who bring their 2 year olds to see the late late showing of Wedding Crashers or Hostel. Or my personal fave, the ones who brought their kids to see the REALLY late showing of Matrix 3... and let the kids find empty rows to stretch out and take a nap on. WTF!!?? God, that pissed me off. Almost as much as the idea that I paid to see that piece of shit. It just bugs me that all the time I hear about stereotypes being wrong and bad and then you encounter the SOURCE of them. Even BLACK PEOPLE make fun of black people talking in movies. So why do they do it? Rent the damn thing and talk all you want at home... don't RUIN it for other people. And, dammit, quit giving attitude when someone politely asks you to be quiet. It's like the guy who tried to pass me on a merge lane... we were BOTH merging and he cut over and tried to pass me... I just merged in front of him and he honked at me and then cut around and flipped me off. DUDE! I wasn't the one being an ass! ARGH! I remember one movie where these two black girls were behind us. They tlaked all the way up the stairs, as they sat in their seats, thru the commercials and the trailers and through the opening credits. I told my date that I had had enough and turned to them to ask if they could be quiet. They gave me a fuck olff look so I got up and sat next to them. I told them, "well, since it's so easy to hear you fucking talking I figured I should come be part of the conversation... now please be quiet or I am going to get management". They told me to fuck off so I went and got management who came in and asked them to be quiet. By this point I had missed the beginning of the movie. Wow, I don't even remember the movie, just the two girls. That's screwed up, man!
**********************************
I'm going to end this now so I can get my day underway. I hope to get back here tomorrow to do some more. Sorry I've been slacking off lately. I AM trying. Have a great weekend, everyone.

Valentine's Day 2006 Cartoon

Here you go... I hope the text is legible. I still have't mastered adding typed text to a scanned cartoon. Suppose I should do that at some point.. but I guess it kind of works in THIS case since the left-most dialogue box is meant to seem more mumbled anyway.

Final Destination 3

FINAL DESTINATION 3
You are either going to see this movie or you’re not so this is more a blog about my opinions of it than a call to see/avoid the flick. Did you see the first 2? Did you like them? You will like this one if you did and probably won’t if you didn’t like either of the first two. The deaths are more elaborate and the effects are better (once you get past the roller coaster part). There! That should calm the concerns of a few people. Now on to the actual MOVIE.
We have another female lead here just like the second one. She walks around taking pics for the yearbook and any movie fan will undoubtedly predict their importance. My problem with THIS though is…well, I hope she wasn’t the ONLY person taking pics for the yearbook at their senior night at a theme park. I mean, what a crappy photog she was since she was just hanging with HER friends and boyfriend. This would piss me off if I was in that school! Anywho, she is already nervous about roller coasters so when she has a (VERY) detailed vision of what goes wrong on it and freaks, the folks don’t buy it. Like the first one, though, it’s a fight that really gets the other “survivors” off the danger ride. So now they slowly piece together that they weren’t SUPPOSED to get off the ride and when death wants someone dead… it gets ‘em dead! Often in very strange ways. The rest of the movie is more like the first than the second. Wonder why?
The first one was wonderful. A rather original take on a horror/slasher movie that had fun with its premise. But in that one, the people all died how they were SUPPOSED to die. You got your head cut off in the plane, you got it cut off later. You burned in the plane? You burned later. Got squished? Get a bus in the face! SQUISH! And so on. And you died in order… which was always funny to me that the order was important since really… it was, what, a matter of moments in the plane? Come on, death! Don’t be so frickin’ ANAL!
Ok, the second one went a slightly different direction by reversing it. They reversed the order because, supposedly, death was fixing mistakes it made when it was trying to kill the plane survivors so it let a few people get away while going after the folks from FD1. I had serious issues with the car accident in the movie. Sure it was fun to watch but it had TOO much going wrong. But when they explained that it was just really another of the deaths to clean up a mess and it was an opp to get a bunch at once, I felt better. Just don’t ask, “But I thought the ORDER they die is important” or it ruins THAT, too.
So the third one takes the order bit from the first but builds on the whole vision thing from both where signs come before the deaths. In this case, the pics she took all give death ideas on how to off these punks.
It’s a neat idea in execution if not in description.
You sit and look at the pics and then around the area WITH the characters trying to figure out what’s going to get them. And man, death in this movie... it’s one VICIOUS SOB!! You can argue about how the teacher dies in the first one but watch what happens to her in the plane crash… she was due for a bad death! Most of the others die pretty quickly. Some don’t even know what hit them. Except for the kid choking in the bathtub. The second one has a lot of painful deaths but still has the quick ones. This one… wow… even the quick one looks painful! If you have issues with gore… stay away because it is VERY gory!
I’m not sure I want a fourth one. I think this sends the series out on a high note. Except for missing Tony Todd. Well, on screen anyway. We get to HEAR him but that’s just not the same. I liked his mortician character and was looking forward to THAT. I mean, like most horror movies, once you get past the first one and you know who the killer is (even with Fridays, you know how it works so the actual killer is irrelevant), these become action movies, really, with some jump scares. They become Boo! movies. So they HAD to amp up the gore and violence to jeep interest but I don’t think they needed to sacrifice Tony for that.
Is it worth a second viewing in the theatre? I’ll let you know since I just know someone will want to see it and I will say “yes” comes I’m easy when it comes to movies but I will buy it on DVD. Definitely. I own the other two. {:o)

If you're gonna live in Jacksonville, you gotta have a fiddle in the band!

1. You must learn to say the city name correctly. It is referred to as "Jax".
2. You are either a Gator or a Nole. There are no other schools.
3. Forget the traffic rules you learned. No one pays attention to them here.Merging, yielding, and right-of-way are completely foreign terms.
4. To find anything in Jax it is required that you know where the Regency Mall is. It is the Alpha and the Omega; the beginning and theend.
5. Directions to anywhere may, and usually do, make a reference to "the old Pic and Save".
6. The morning rush hour is from 6am to 10am. The evening rush hour is from 3pm to 7pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
7. If you stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
8. East Rd. meets West Rd. on Beach Blvd, but they both run North and South.
9. Normandy Boulevard, State Road 228, Cecil Field Road, Maxville Road, and Post Street are all the same road.
10. Hartley Road, Shad Road, and Hood Road are all the same road. Hartley Road is the western part of the road, and Shad Road is the eastern part of the road. Now don't be confused about this Hood Road. This is the West-East part that is in between Hartley and Shad, not the North-South part that starts out as Old Kings Road South, changes into Hood Road South, and ends at Losco Road.
11. Construction is a permanent fixture in Jax. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving more exciting.
12. Watch for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, single shoes, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, crows or vultures feeding on any of these items.
13. The minimum acceptable speed on JTB is 75 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Jacksonville's version of NASCAR.
14. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55 zone, you areconsidered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
16. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.
17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
18. There are only two seasons: Summer and January.
19. There is a Westside high school that has a confederate flag as its schoolflag, an image of a slave plantation owner as its mascot, and Dixie as its school song. Just accept it.
20. Ponte Vedra is to Middleburg as oceanfront is to double-wide.
21. If you choose to live in Orange Park, or, God forbid, Middleburg, plan to leave for work at 4am and return home around 11pm. Otherwise you may get caught in what can only be described as "the world's longest left-turn lane".
22. Don't get here late and expect something to eat. After 9pm, your choices are Famous Amos and Village Inn.
23. You can buy a million-dollar condo downtown on the river, but you have to drive 10 miles for a loaf of bread, and never after dark.
24. The Landing is an interesting place. Every time you visit, there will be awhole new set of restaurants, fewer stores, and less parking. Hooters, however, is a permanent fixture.
25. All city council decisions must be signed off on by First Baptist Church.
26. You can't drink alcohol and see naked girls at the same time. But, if you agree to drink Diet Coke, you can see them fully nude.
27. North Philips highway. Don't go there. Unless you are looking for motels that charge by the hour.
28. Learn all of the lyrics to every Lynyrd Skynyrd song.
29. If you like southern-style barbecue, there's a restaurant on every corner. But they all close at 9pm.
30. Convenience stores are EVERYWHERE, unless you live in a million-dollar condo downtown...

I have the biggest balls of them all!

Bowling.
I enjoy bowling. It’s fun and it is exercise… not a LOT of it but it’s easy to break a sweat. Especially by the third game (if you’ve had enough beer). Most certainly when I have to use a 16lb ball because it's the only one with big enough finger holes. I tried to use the 15 for the first few frames but my fingers started hurting. ANYwho...
So Monday night was my bowling night. I haven’t been in a bit and was excited to go. We were supposed to go a week ago but various things got in the way.
Oh, the “we” is me and my friend, Cathy. Nice woman, works for FCCJ, has a town home, loves the theatre and can actually hold a conversation. Imagine that.
So we go out with the intention of “loser buys the beer”. Sadly, since we had to buy the beer to get us started, I was apparently already marked as the ‘loser’. I had every intention of letting her win or at least keep the game close and managed to do that VERY well. I was staying either a few pins behind or in front of her thru much of the first game.
Then a strange thing happened. Cathy threw a decent ball and knocked down 8 pins. Only the tow to the left of the lane (bowler’s side) were standing. But the machine said she had knocked down NINE. Now I chalked this up to maybe the pin shifting or just a glitch so I let it slide. We even joked that she just had to figure out which one the machine WAS reading and knock THAT one down. Ha Ha Ha. (If you’re wondering, it was the 7 pin.)
We kept going and I screwed up a tad but still was in striking distance to come back. I kept knocking down the 7 pin and most of the others so I was sparing pretty regularly but not consistent so as not to get TOO far ahead and waste my arm on the first game. But then Cathy knocked them all down EXCEPT the 7 pin… and it said she had a STRIKE!! This helped her tremendously since she lucked out again and managed to build on it. The final score for the first game was 135 to 128. 7 pins BECAUSE of the 7 pin.
The second game I got my butt kicked. But that dang 7 pin kept helping her out and by the time I managed to shift my position enough to get the strikes or at least leave only the 7 pin up, she had another “magic moment” happen. See, if the 7 is left up, it doesn’t register it as there so it’s a strike but since it picks up a pin, it doesn’t bring down the other pins. So we have to reset. This worked fine the first game but when I had to do it after getting a 7 pin strike, instead of just bringing her pins down… it gave her a strike!!! ARGH! Now, granted, she managed a turkey later on and EARNED it but still, by this point she was so far ahead that I got flustered. I don’t mind losing… but not because of faulty equipment!
Score for second game? 188-14? I think it was 146 but not sure. Still flustered and little tipsy by that point.
Third game. I knocked a pin up the gutter so the guy had to come get it and reset the system. This fixed the problem with the 7 pin for some reason. She was getting weak and tipsy herself so it affected her game and the loss of her “friend’ hurt. I was riding good, well on my way to a 190+ game when for some reason, from the point I threw the ball (and I throw it FAST) to when it reached the pins, the machine had come down. So I hit the sweaper arm. HARD! REALLY REALLY HARD. And STILL managed to knock a pin down. {:o) But this was with only 2 ½ frames left and already the 1 pin down messed up my run on a spare so I was pissed. Threw off my game. I still managed about a 160 something (the thing kept turning off due to ANOTHER glitch so I didn’t see my final score but it should’ve been a 168 or so. She was about 115. She played better than she had ever done before so that was cool. For her. I guess.
So OVERALL, we had pretty close averages. But we still need to play again because of that damn Lane 32 at the Bowl America on San Jose!!! Don’t use that lane!!