Saturday, December 31, 2005

Fun With Dick and Jane and Rumor Has It

After having my plans essentially SHATTERED by two different people, I decided to go oout and have my OWN fun. And since I haven't been in a while (as the general lack of reviews will show) I decided on movies. I wanted to see Wolf Creek but they were checking tickets and I wasn't energetic enough to stay awake through the two hours plus run time of Producers and the other movies started too early or too late, so I saw Rumor Has It.

But first...

FUN WITH DICK AND JANE

Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni. Two good actors when it comes to drama and comedy. It was written by Judd Apatow (40 Year Old Virgin) and produced by Jim Carrey. It was poking fun at all the various coprorations and companies that have gone under while the CEO's and CFO's have walked away BIGGER millionaires than before. It pokes fun at what drives people to crime. It pokes fun at absentee parenting and keeping up with the joneses and illegal immigrants and a whole bunch more. And yet amazingly it comes off as rather bland. The poking is SO subtle in places, you don't realize that it's making fun of some rather serious topics. This isn't a bad thing. It has some genuinely funny bits. And hey, some of them aren't in the trailers. Ok, maybe 4-5 of them aren't but you will still giggle some when you see the bits in context and they DO use different takes for some of them. The movie builds to a climax and delivers in that it actually IS climactic. The characters have arcs and the plot has direction. I can't believe I can say that about the guy(s) who did Ace Ventura but there you go. The best joke is the credits. The very beginning of the credits. If you want to know the joke and don't plan on seeing the movie, write me and I'll tell you. Otherwise, make sure you read the end credits once they start.

RUMOR HAS IT

Rumor has it the movie is boring, plodding, silly with good actors doing their damnedest to NOT be funny, Rob Reiner acting like he has never directed a romantic comedy before, Kevin Costner basically standing around and reading his lines and Shirley Mclaine being the only good thing in it. Wait... that's not a rumor. That's the truth. If you're a fan of the Graduate and have seen it within the past five yeras, you will get some kicks out of it. If you haven't... well, they do a pretty good job of spelling it all out for you. If you AREN'T a fan of the Graduate, don't bother with this movie. It's not worth it. Not even for Aniston's back boob shoot.

There you go.. two reviews... sorry if they're short but I'm sleepy.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Random BS... please help

Ok, I'm just too damn tired to write a lot. This, of course, means I probably will.

It's been a long week which is odd considering I only work three days. But it was Tuesday thru Thursday so I also worked Tuesday and Thursday night AND went out until much too late on Wednesday. I have gotten little to no sleep and am exhausted. So why am I sitting here typing this crap? Hmmmm. Let's find out together!!

I was supposed to go to a friend's party tomorrow night and I suppose I will still go but it won't be as much fun as it was going to be. No offense meant to the hostess but I had much higher hopes for Friday evening than what could possibly come. I was supposed to get together with a new friend. We've hung out a couple of times so it was still relatively exciting getting to know the person and all that. Sure, it means you learn bad or not-so-thriling things but you also learn fun stuff. Sadly, after these plans being in existence for about a week and a half, I was told last night she made other plans. I've told her I'm not mad, and I'm really not. Disappointed, certainly. Frustrated, without a doubt. Mildly irked, you betcha. But not mad. I was expecting this. A part of me expects this. Lord knows I've been the victim of the (perceived) BBD more times than I care to think about. (Not that many, really, I just don;t like to think about them.) I even told her I would check up with her again on Thursday (today) to make sure she was still going. She scoffed at that and repeatedly told me she was going. So part of the issue is surprise for me. I guess. And what makes it worse... I can't BLAME her. This set up/blind date she has thru a sibling COULD be good for her. She might find someone she can really click with and all that so I don't want to stand in the way of that. Yes, Virginia, there IS a schmuck.

Speaking of being stood up... I finally got to meet Melissa tonight. She was supposed to bring some friends to BW3's where I host trivia on thursday nights. I had heard that particular promise before so I wasn't surprised when I didn't notice her. I had a decent night... running out of supplies too damn fast but that's not a BAD thing. Anyway, I was leaving, stopped to talk to my regulars and congratulate my winners (pressing flesh, kissing babies, flirting and the like) and was driving home when I figured I would call Mel and give her some shit. She proceeds to tell me she is AT BW3's and had been since 7. I told her she was lying and she argued saying she played electronic trivia with her buddies. I asked her where she was at and finally narrowed it down to her being at Buffalos Southwest Grill in Argyle. At least she got one word right in the name. So anyway, I have to drive by there anyway to get home so I swung in, we chatted for a bit, I marvelled at the energy and total inability to be quiet or still and was relieved that she was not nearly the psychotic stalker chick she has come across as in the blogs and comments area of MySpace. Whew. Relieved. We might actually get around to getting that meal out of the way!! Someday. Maybe. We'll see.

But at least she DID try.

That's more than SOME people. Like this one friend who works right around the corner from me but can't spare 30 minutes to let me buy them a drink. Grrrrr. So very much annoying. Makes me sad. I like people and I like being around people. I just know I will always be the one who is pushed to the back when it comes to things.

Maybe I just don't make a strong enough impression. I am not an aggressive type. I don't believe in kissing on the first date if I have to be the one instigating. If the woman is all for it, I join right in. But I won't pounce or manipulate in order to get it. I am just not that forceful in the beginning. Granted, I AM a "Vaginal Vampire" of sorts. Once I am invited in once, I have no problem doing so again. (No blood drinking jokes, please.) I prefer the first "date" or "meeting" to be all about learning about the person. I naturally ask a LOT of questions and LISTEN to the answers. I engage the person in a dialogue as best I can. I am a talker but I try to control it. Even when I make the decision that I like this person and would really like to kiss them... I can't bring myself to "make my move" and feel this gets me stuck into a friend zone time and time again.

Add in my natural laid back attitude about some stuff and that I really don't want to be pushy and maybe it all makes sense.

Women don' mind taking advantage of me because it seems that I don't mind it either.

Or maybe it's just the types of women I meet. I know not everyone is like taht... not just in my own small world but across the gender. Lately, it just feels that way.

I'm tired of being the "buddy".

I'm tired of being the "good friend (she) can talk to about all (her) troubles but won't make out with."

I'm tired of getting STUCK in the friend zone while they all make the same mistakes OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER.

I am tired of not even being taken seriously.

Mostly, I am just tired.

Any suggestions of how I can fix this? Not the tired part, the rest of it.

Input requested!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Jon and Will go to GA... AGAIN!!

Jon and I went to GA again. We had several things in mind and managed to accomplish several of them He got his sunset pics and I got the new profile pics and xmas lites shots I wanted. Here you go.


Driving up, Jon caught sight of this truck. "What is that on the front of it?"

"Man, it sure is coming up fast... what IS that?"

"It's a TEDDY BEAR!!!"

Jon didn't want to try and sneak onto the base so I got this shot.
Have I mentioned that Jon's a pussy? No? Jon's a pussy. Scared of navy guys with guns. Pfft.

But Jon DOES like factories and other buildings that are slowly going to crap.

Jon and Will go to GA... Again - Willy J and the Broken Brown Factory

The continuing stoooooory of two guys on a quest to take pictures of shit.

This is Jon. He likes to take pictures of things.

This is the factory. It likes to have its picture taken (look at it pout!).

This is Jon taking pictures of the factory.

This is the factory, again, being all slutty (one of MY pictures, of course, HIS are much better).

This is Jon taking pictures of the....wait a tic!! The factory is BEHIND him so what is Jon taking pictures of?

Oh. Turns out there was OTHER shit around the factory to take pictures of. Good call, Jon!

See? Look at all of it. Pretty stuff. Sorry for the date stamp... I keep forgetting to take that out.

BIRDS!! Look at all the birds!! Jon has a good shot of the birds, I'll wager.

This is Jon taking pictures of the factory again. Apparently it got jealous of all the other picture taking going on. Man, factories can be whiney bitches.

This is ME! I had run out of other pretty things to take pictures of so naturally....

Jon and Will go to GA... Again!! - It was STILL looking a lot like Christmas!!!

We found a nice street full of very Christmasy houses.

Ain't they just so damn festive?

I liked this one the most.

Which is why I took two pics of it. No real lites, though. What a shame.

That is... until we found:

A Christmas tree in their little downtown area. Jon has some nice pics that I hope I will one day see.

I wanted pics of Xmas lites but was in such a hurry to snap AROUND the moving cars that the pics look a little off.

Plus, the camera was dying a slow battery death.

So it may LOOK like I was shaking but a lot of this distortion comes from the camera setting I needed to even GET these pics and the speed with which I had to take them.

But I think you get the idea here.

It was still neat to see in person, though. Will have to go next year.

All in all, the trip was a fun time. I'm glad Jon found out that the lites wouldn't be up when we had planned to return. Shame the book store I wanted to visit was closed on Mondays and the A&W's were either closed for good or for remodeling. Even Jimmy's Deep Fried Hot Dogs was closed. DAMMIT!! But there you ahve it... our trip to St. Mary's (right, Jon?) and the pics I got to take before the camera went belly up. Jon has more on his picture viewer site http://jonathanbates.com/Gallery/Default so go check it out.

Fave lines and phrases... please share your own!!

This is by no means a complete list but it WILL encompass the ones I remember the most.

Some will be from movies, of course, but others will be stuff I heard from friends or even came up with on my own. Feel free to add any others you know. I like learning fun new things. Since I just watched the DVD, lines from Serenity are fresh in my mind so they will start us off.

-"She is damaging my calm"

-"Find the kid taking a dirt nap with baby jesus, we need a hood ornament"

-"Moral Turpitude"

-"Spastic lil queer"

-"Tell her you want to lick her upper thigh"

-"No matter how pretty she is, someone somewhere is tired of ehr shit"

-"He who cares the least, wins"

-"Hotter'n Hell and half as pleasant"

-"Straight gay"

-"Bag fries"

-"She may have been a hooker but she had the prettiest face I ever came across"

-"What up, jig G homey dawg? Fly word to the mother ship"

-"There are two types of people in this world: Me and everyone else"

-"Alligator fuckjuice"

-"How about those Mets?"

-"I believe in no god who inflicts pain and torment for his own pleasure"

-"Where will you be when the hammer falls?"

-"Useless as two tits on a bull"

-"Well, strike a book and light all the wooden matches"

-"Inconceivable!"

-"One more time for the stupid people!"

-"Life is God's television set"

And of course, I can't do a list like this without...

-"BUSH HELMET!!"

I could probably do this for awhile longer but I want to hear what some of you have, so please... share!!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Ask me

I've done this before (on MySpace) but have gained new readers/friends (both here AND there) so I thought I'd give them a shot. Though if anyone else has a question or six, I'll still answer THOSE, too.

YOU CAN ASK ME SIX QUESTIONS::

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
__________________________________________________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless
__________________________________________________
I promise to answer them 100% truthfully
__________________________________________________
All questions are COMPLETELY confidential - send to my email wmjwatson@yahoo.com - or if you want, post them here.

Alex and Dennis: The Kittens

Here are the most recent pics of the Kitties. They are doing well, have had all their shots and will get fixed soon. They are getting into EVERYTHNIG mama says and play a LOT.








Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Cartoon 2005

This is a silent one. I like to try these from time to time to see if I can get the joke across without words. Yes, the Myrrh joke ws silent but not ORIGINALLY so I don't count that one. Anywho, I tried to color it but I only have so many colored pencils and very little patience with my drawing. Those who have seen my folder will recognize this joke. The new idea I had for this year ended up being too damn hard so I couldn't get it done in time. Maybe for next year.
I hope everyone's having fun.
Thanks to everyone who spent time hanging out this holiday season... It's helped make it special for me.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Christmas Cartoon (the infamously twisted one!)



Ok, so this was the first one I remember doing around the workplace... it got some interesting reactions, to say the least. I know I've done some jokes that some see as 'tasteless' or 'rude' or even 'obscene' but I find humor in most everything. And besides... it's a fricking JOKE!!!
Anywho, I have been really busy lately but DID manage to finish the drawing and am coloring it right now. Since I have already STARTED coloring it, I am kind of committed to it. It WILL get posted no later than tomorrow but in the meantime, I hope you can enjoy this one. It's next no the list for 'remodeling'.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Christmas Cartoon 1998

Next in a series. I really do plan to have something done for Christmas to post here AND use as a card. I have been wanting to redo a couple of old ones so I may do THAT.
We'll see.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Please Advise!

I just don’t understand people anymore. Well, not ALL people. Some people. It’s come up recently through a strange series of events. It’s a weird concept for me to experience. I am a firm believer that at our core, all people are essentially the same. The deeper you go, the more sense we all make. It’s the DETAILS which confuse issues.
Why does a woman stay in a violent relationship?
Is it fear? Masochism? Love, no matter how misguided? Cause the guy is rich (which is still fear, really)?
Why does a guy stay with a woman who keeps cheating on him or treats HIM like dirt? Same reasons, maybe?
Why do some people feel the need to lie about EVERYTHING to the point where they are no longer capable of being themselves? Is it JUST low self-esteem and the need to be accepted causing it?
Why do some co-workers feel the need to be BETTER than everyone else? Especially when it alienates those same people and makes the work group suffer. Why do they seek so much self-promotion (not actual promotion) by lessening the influence or accomplishments of their peers?
Why do some people feel the drive to say “just the right thing” to get you on their side? Is it a throwback to a former life as a car salesman? I separate this from lying since it’s not necessarily a “lie” as much as it is selective truth telling in order to garner favor.*
What do they gain from this? What do any of these types of people gain?
I like people. Some of my best friends are people. Also, some of my friends are THESE types of people. I’m not naming names or pointing fingers since most of them know who they are and I really don’t hold it against them.
Like I said… I just don’t understand it.
So I put it to all of YOU to help me figure it all out.
For most things, you can find a common root. Whether it is fear, self-preservation, or simple selfishness, most actions WILL make sense. But could those above (or any you can think of to add) all come from these base motivators?
I await all your input. And please don’t be put off by being first or duplicating what someone else says… I want to hear EVERYONE’s side. And if you’re guilty of the above, so much the better. Please explain YOUR motivations.
Please?
Pretty please?
I’ll be your best friend!
William

* I don’t mind navigating the truth like it’s a frickin’ river but I go out of my way to avoid lying or misleading people to believing I like them when I don’t. I am sure Johanna will disagree with this but she’s wrong. j/k… mwah!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Random Rants and Disturbing Thoughts

It's raining. STILL. It's been raining for, like, 24 hours and I wish it would stop. For all the people who worship Seattle or Britain, you must be enjoying the hell out of this. And for those of you IN Seattle or Britain, you should be getting a good chuckle at us Floridians.
The rain sucks.
I was supposed to be going on a road trip to GA yesterday but the rain was covering all of north Florida and most of GA that was visible on the weather maps so there was no point. Oh, yeah, and it all seemed to be moving to the north-northeast so REALLY no point. We'll try again, I'm sure, but I really want pics of the xmas lights and they might not be there after new years. Anyway, we ended up just hanging out a bit listening to music and chatting which was fun and all but I really wanted to go somewhere. This "need" has gotten worse after starting the new job and feeling confined five days a week and then having to work another 2-3 nights a week so when I get home, I watch tv, play on the net and then crash. I don't feel like I accomplish much during the week, y'know? The limited postings on HERE should attest to that.
Plus, Jon didn't have his xbox hooked up and I am still curious about some of his games. Maybe that's a good thing though since I have been ok without a game system these past few years. I sold my playstation and all my games back when I needed cash. Made decent money on them since I actually take care of my shit and keep the boxes. Call me anal for that but it DOES come in handy. Hell, I even had the demo discs!!! I know I go overboard with games and stuff. Like with movies and books and comics and cd's and the rest, I need to control myself. I just like so many different kinds of things and genres that I WANT too many. This was my way of controlling myself.. not buying a new system. I still get the hankering to play but since it would be just too damn hard to go out, buy a system, buy some games and then come home to play, I don't do it. Add in the idea that I refuse to buy a system for just ONE game, ignoring the fact thatI secretly know I like more than just one, and I never really plan to buy a game system. Still would've been fun to play on his, though. Oh, well.
The other problem with the rain is my plumbing. Apparently my plug out back is underwater if it rains for more than a couple of hours. This leads to the toilet doing the scare tactics crap where it comes RIGHT TO THE TOP before going down. It rained so much yesterday that the TUB was backing up. And to flush the toilet sent it into the tub. We HAVE asked them to fix this and it seemed like they had but that was only because we haven't had this much rain since they "fixed" it. So in the middle of the downpour I was out back trying to find the submerged plug so we could at least take it off and find ourselves able to use the john! Maybe even take a shower! But the real kicker here is that my roomie/sister was SUPPOSED to call the landlord FRIDAY and advise them it was showing signs of problems. The rain ended up making it SO much worse. Seems she was sick and at work so she felt she couldn't call. This made no sense to me. Ok, her being sick and not calling did but the work excuse didn't. So when I called him last night I got told that we REALLY should've called friday since the septic guy was out here working on another problem in the area. ARGH!!
I went over to hang out at ma's for a bit since they were going out and I like playing with the pets. Plus, she has food and tv and the net just like I do so it feels like home. What a way to spend a saturday, right? Well, since I had OTHER plans it affected me being able to make NEW plans. And after dealing with all that crap (no pun intended) I wasn't really in the mood to go out. Maybe today!! After I take the towels and such to get washed so they don't mildew and wait for my sister to get up so I can make sure she is around for when the landlord calls.
Haven't been able to walk lately because of the weather. I miss it. I enjoy walking and it is good exercise. Treadmills make me dizzy if I do more than a mile on them and it just FEELS better walking outside. It's hard enough finding time to do it as it is with the early sunsets and cold weather and work schedules. The weekend is my time to REALLY go out and walk. Stupid rain.
I watched some of the 40 Year Old Virgin last night. The "unrated" one. I get so sick of how they market these things. I liked the movie fine enough (you can browse thru and find the review on here) and was curious as to what they cut out or changed. But, it was an R rated movie so they really shouldn't have cut too much out, right? They cut out nudity... which if you remember my review WAS a complaint... and some interaction amongst the minor characters but otherwise, it's not a "dirtier" movie or anything. It's a bit more worth it than say the Dodgeball unrated or the Anchorman unrated sets. Only a bit. I realize they are trying to con people into thinking it's going to be a much raunchier movie (which it SHOULD have been) and I guess it works. My natural inclination when it comes to dvd's, though, is to get the one with the most STUFF. I end up watching THAT more than the movie sometimes. Like with Superman: The Movie. I've seen the documentary more than the movie. On THAT disc.. not in my entire life. Same goes for Fellowship of the Ring Expanded... seen the documentary more. I usually watch the movie with commentary first unless I am showing someone the movie or it's my first time watching it. This is just so I can make sure everything is working with the disc. I watch all the special features and such and then put the disc on my shelf for the next time I'm ready for it. Some of my disc I have never watched WITHOUT the commentary running. I just realized that. Weird. I am ALL about the special features and I see an "unrated" cut or a "director's" cut as a special feature so I will get those versions. Only twice has it lead to a version I don't like of a movie (Euro Trip and New Guy) and usually I do prefer it or just don't see the big difference enough to care. I just get tired of this whole unrated marketing gimmick. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home has an unrated version. I always remind myself of this so I don't get disappointed when I buy one and yet it doesn't always work. Mainly cause the commentary tracks always talk about the differences so it just makes me notice how minor the changes to the story or presentation really ARE and I can't help wondering why they cut it out since it wasn't like they were getting threatened with an X or NC17 or anything. "Unrated" just means the MPAA never gave THAT version of the film a rating. Still annoying.
I AM looking forward to getting the new version of Sin City though. It was the only thing I asked for at Christmas. The only thing I wanted. My family has been very generous to me all year so I didn't want anything from them this year. I told them that. Anytime they asked what I wanted, I told them "nothing" since my roomie/sister is already handling that movie for me. they got MAD at me because of it. I told them to spend the money on someone else. If they REALLY wanted to give me a gift, then just put my name in the "From" part and give it to that other person. That would mean more to me than receiving my own gift this year. And part of it is becasue of what they've already done, part is because there is just not a lot that I WANT or NEED. The other part was because I really like to give gifts. It's fun. I like shopping for other people (and myself, of course) and I knew I wouldn't be buying much this year so it would be a way for me to still be giving gifts. I enjoy the feeling and I enjoy it when I find something the other person wanted and couldn't get or find but I really like it when it something the person didn't even know existed. I don't have the time to produce a gift this year and will be hard pressed just to do the annual cartoon, which I've had to skip before. But they got MAD at me bacuase I said I didn't wnat anything. They still see me as the kid who sneaks a peak at his presents. They still hide them from me. They still don't trust me around them when they aren't there. They still think I am a grumpy 6 year old who will say when he doesn't like a gift. I'll tell you if you ASK but I enjoy getting gifts so there is reallly nothing negative for me to say. It's free stuff to me, y'know? What's to complain about? Besides, I can take back anything I don't like. This usually happens whenever Ma buys me clothes. Took me YEARS just to convince her I don't need a watch, wallet, pen, sweatshirt and slippers every damn year. I STILL have a lot of these things. Hmmm... maybe I should give THOSE away this year.
My neighborhood (Ricker Road) has added another four way stop. We have had the one at Ricker and 118 for a few years now and the accidents and near accidents have stopped... not until AFTER I almost got killed or hit three times. They used these lessons to help them set up the new one at Ricker and Wheat. They put up the "Stop sign ahead" sign and the flashing light on top of them both and the clear marking of "4 way stop" in a very visible spot. These were all done in stages on the 118 stop. So that's a good thing, right? HELL NO!! People still don't know how to behave at a four way. It takes forever for people to "figure out" who goes first. It gets REALLY bad when you have NICE people there wnating everyone ELSE to go first and throwing off the timing of it all. Like merging traffic... it's the nice people causing problems as much as the assholes trying to cut in. The assholes forget that EVERYONE is in a hurry and the nice people forget that everyone ELSE is in a hurry. Who can look at all those cars on the road and forget that everyone is going SOMEWHERE and would like to GET there.. oh, SOON? Do assholes really think everyone else has some sort of rush hour fetish? Traffic jams get them all hard and wet? I AM an asshole and believe me, I don't forget that. And I love it when a nice guy will slow down to let a car in... when right behind them is me and right behind me is a half mile of empty road. Rearviews are there for a reason!! But I was talking about four way stops, wasn't I? Yes, I was. Let me ask you this: Who goes first at a four way stop? If you said "person on your right", so beat yourself with a tire iron. It's whoever gets to the stop sign (and STOPPED) first. A four way stop is a first come, first go scenario. The only time you look to your right, is when you get there at the SAME TIME. It is amazing how many people don't understand this. Didn't we all take the same damn test? Didn't we all have to go thru the same type of shit to GET our licenses? What happend to this knowledge? Maybe we shouldn't be satisfied with the passing scores we currently have anymore.

I DID say these would be rants, remember? so no calling me bitter!!! But enough about this stuff. I need a breather. So let's have some 'fun'! And that means:

DISTURBING THOUGHTS ROUND-UP!!

(Remember the rules... this is just where I -or you- can share those thoughts that normally you fear people will judge you for.... but there will be NO judging here. We all have these sorts of thoughts so we can't hold them against each other)

-Why do Chinese and Vietnamese people always sound like it hurts them to speak english? It's odd. It really sounds like they are in pain. Not cause they tend to be loud... just the way the words come out. Makes MY throat hurt.

-I've always been a leg man. I love legs. Especially SMOOTH legs. Not counting that fur shorts shit women do where they don't shave the upper thigh cause the hair is "so fine you can't see it" or cause they "don't really grow hair there". That's such crap. Maybe from where YOU are looking you can't see it, but as a guy donw next to it... they are like fucking TREES!! But I have found a new problem. Fur shorts was my term for this because usually that woman doesn't shave off the pubic hair.... maybe trims it but not bald. Now there is fur chaps. This is where the woman DOES shave the Happy Patch clean off and still leaves the thigh hairs.

-In order to respect all the annoying Christians out there who aren't satisfied with "Happy Holidays" as a greeting and INSIST upon "Merry Christmas" since they feel all the damn manger scenes and carols mentioning Jesus and all the church postings and shows and speeches and our current loser president just don't serve to show people that their faith dominates our country and since they apparently don't see Christmas AS a 'holiday', I say we go with the good ol' tried and true greetings of "Hello" and "Good bye". Maybe even a "Have a nice day" thrown in... assuming the Christians can avoid getting into a huff over not explaining that the day is a "gift from [their] god" and all. Otherwise, I think we should go with my new personal favorite after listening to all this 'debate' over how important all this is while fighting a glorified religious war in the middle east. Instead of Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, I say we just say "Go Fuck yourself!" Who's with me?

-You know those clips they started putting onto DVD's? The ones you have to flick open so you can open the case? The ones like suitcase clamps? Did you know you can just twist those off once you've open the case? I didn't realize that. That's kind of cool. The scary part, though... I twisted them off my 40 Year Old Virgin case and my first thought was "Shit, what if I want to sell it later?" Yes, I AM a collector nerd.

-I am still upset that comics and sci-fi get such a bad rap with the ladies. Just like when they find out I like horror movies or I like country music or I like cartoons, suddenly that feature is what defines me. I like OTHER things too you know!! But I sure don't like YOU anymore. Fucking pretentious bitches.

-Anyone else notice that UFO sighting reports have dropped significantly since W took office? Not sure if it's cause the aliens went running after seeing our "leader of the free world" since it proved our general lack of intelligence or because, well, he's given positions to all those who would be REPORTING seeing UFO's. Same with Bigfoot.

-Ma was explaining to me how trustworthy the news is. Since it's captured on film and they interview people. I tried to explain how editing works. How selective interviewing works. I finally settled on the argument that really only works at this time of year.
"These are the same guys who give "Santa's Progress" Updates at Christmas time, ma."

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Christmas Cartoon 1999

Continuing the series. Don't worry, I WILL be back with other stuff once I have some time off.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Christmas 2003 Cartoon

Still counting down to this years Christmas cartoon. Here's the one from '03...

The original tag to this was Santa saying, "Pfft! Whoever heard of 'Myrrh' anyway?"
The issue came from me spelling it "Mir" since when I originally showed it to my co-workers, christians all, they didn't know "myrrh" so I changed it. It doesn't really NEED dialogue in my opinion, so I cut it out.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Aeon Flux and Chronicles of Narnia

AEON FLUX

Went and saw that Monday with Julie (see friends list). She was unfamiliar with the cartoon and I remember fondly watching the adventures of Aeon on MTV's Liquid Television. The movie gives us some rather faithful interpretations of parts of the show including the most iconic image of all to start the movie off, a decent expansion of the plot to the first "season" of Aeon Flux and a couple of nods to the second, plot development that makes the story a helluva lot more coherent and understandable to the lay person and some nice images and stunts and damn purdy pictures. IT uses the already existing "sets" found in Germany (much like Equilibrium did) to full effect and the movie looks a lot more expensive than it must have been. The stunt work is impressive at times and ok at others. The effects serve to show off the stunts or to show the changes to the world. Sure, it all looks HIGHLY digital but it IS based on a cartoon so deal with it. The movie REALLY picks up about halfway in when the plot actually kicks into full swing.

So what's wrong with it? Well, it's mostly boring. The plot, though more developed than the cartoon, is still full of holes and problems that even children will probably question. The stunts ARE good... what there are in the film. Charlize Theron does a good job but this will still go down as her Catwoman. She's still sexy as hell and CAN act. She's proven that. This must just be a paycheck movie for her. That's the only thing that makes sense. Maybe a little bit for the experience but mostly the money.

The movie excels at the visual IDEAS but the logic is what kills it. Sure, everything looks interesting but when it comes time to understand the whys and wherefores, it falls flat.

Side note: We went and saw Kiss Kiss Bang Bang afterwards. Theatre hopping, yes, get over it. It was my second time and I STILL laughed my ass off and enjoyed it. Julie got a real kick out of it, too. It's going to be harder to find now but it's well worth the effort.

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE

That is the only time I will write all that out. From here on, it's "Narnia" or "the movie". Ok? Good.

Kevin and I went to see Narnia tonite. Opening night. The 845 had sold out but the later showings were still wide open. We had planned on the 930 ANYWAY but I wanted to make mention of that. The theatre showing Rent was being used for storage I think. (That was for Crizzle.) Anywho, I never read the book. I saw the old animated one and was surprised how much I remembered of it. Lines and images and whole scenes. I guess the old cartoon version was more faithful than I thought. This is no Lord of the Rings. It may look like it at times and feel like it but then, CS Lewis and Tolkein were friends after a fashion and WETA did a lot of the effects. I guess it all makes sense.

The kids are decent actors. They are better in some scenes than others, of course, and the older kids seem more comfortable than the younger. The CGI characters are generally solid throughout (no pun intended) and the other effects are of the LOTR standards. In fact, it looked like they filmed it in the same locations.

The movie FEELS like a book for most of it. And the book was short. I don't think it would take you two hours plus to READ the book but they do add a lot to the action and such that the book, from just a cursory glance in Walmart, really didn't dwell on. We get the kids into the wardrobe pretty quickly, thankfully, and get the fantasy elements popping before heading back to the real world a couple of times before the bulk of the Narnia adventure hits. Basically, it's four english kids being evacuated from the war who are sent to live with a professor who has a wardrobe hidden away that is actually a SOMETIMES portal to Narnia, a magical land where no humans exist but everyone talks English and has tea and sardines and such and all the animals talk. The land is ruled by a mean witch while the animals are hoping for the return of the Lion, Aslan. Thger you go... that's Narnia, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe. Everything else is the kids and the beavers and the wolves but I guess the title would've been REALLY too long by then.

The movie builds towards a large battle which is pretty swell. I was more interested in it than the one in Return of the King. That one put me to sleep. But the battle itself builds towards a climax which was watered down, it felt, for the kiddies. The damn kiddies. So it ends up feeling ANTI-climactic. Damn. That's really my only complaint about the movie ITSELF.

My OTHER complaints deal with the crowd. We, of course, had the stereotypical black guys and gals who couldn't resist trying to change the course of the picture by explaining ther errors in the characters' decisions or by warning them of approaching dangers. I am not wanting to come off as racist but Kevin WILL attest to the fact that they WERE black. They were sitting rather close by so wasn't hard to figure it out. But see, they weren't the big problem. Neither was the one white guy in the fron section who was obviously a HUGE Narnia fan. Fist pumping during the resurrection scene and all that.

It was this one young girl.

Sitting right behind us.

Who didn't want to see the "scary movie".

Who was brought to the theatre by her mother.

Her mother who was a fan of the books, apparently.

And the little girl liked to ask questions.

Oh, yes, she was an inquisitive sort.

"Where's she going?" "Is she going into the wardrobe again?" "Is she going to leave and get her family?" "Is he a bad guy?" "Is she going to hurt him?" "Is he dead?" "Where's he going?" "Are they going to follow him?"

That is just a SAMPLING!! She didn't shut up the whole time... except when her mother took her to the bathroom.

OH, sure, the mother would Shh the kid and ask her to be quiet. But then would go into an explanation as to what was happening. The kid was apparently mentally challenged and couldn't figure anything out on her own. And the mother was all too happy to educate her at every turn. There was a point where she actually EXPLAINED THE REST OF THE MOVIE. This was when there was still an HOUR TO GO!!! Not only that, but she felt the need to explain the christian symbolism to her young daughter. WTF!?!? So for every time she tried to shush her, the times she would answer her questions just encouraged her more.

I hate kids in theatres when they can't behave. I know it sucks that I like cartoons and kids movies and stuff but STILL. The kids should be able to behave BEFORE being brought out in public! So as much as the kids annoy me, it's the PARENTS that truly piss me off.

Anywho, the movie was good... Harry Potter was better.... I would like to see them make more from the series though. There you have it... my reviews. Hope they help.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I am feeling very sleeeeeepy

This will be short cause I am sleepy.

Ok, tonite I went to see Peter Guzzi... I think his name was Peter. Too tired to check. Anywho, he's at Comedy Zone until the 17th with a special show (XXX Show!!) on the 18th. He calls himself the world's best hypnotist. Basically, he lets whoever WANTS to come up on stage do so and then he slowly gets rid of the difficult ones or the ones who just can't do it. As he says it, if you don't WANT to be hypnotized, you WON'T be. I went with Jessica and TRIED to get her up on stage for all the added benefits BESIDES me just having a royal good time laughing at her. She refused. But I STRONGLY recommend to everyone to actually go up on stage. If you are feeling stressed about anything. Having a hard time with anything. Just feeling blah. Go up there and you WILL be relaxed.

Sure, he will make the folks up there do some wacky shit and act the fool but it's all in good fun and he doesn't let you get nekked or hurt yourself or anyone else or anything like that. He just lets you get all stupid. And you get to blame the hypnotism!!! How cool is that?!?!

I got a lil whammy on me when he was checking the crowd to see who was susceptible... to help make up for the folks who he had to boot off stage. I was ALMOST fully there and DID feel VERY relaxed afterwards but the guy next to me bumped me as he stood up and it got me out of it. That and Jessica moving about. So, like I said, I was nearly there.

The folks danced about like saturday night live dancers and exotic dancers (giving the audience a lapdance if they gave up a dollar). They performed for make believe cameras and in a fake body building contest. We got to reenact a Jerry Springer show and hear a man who is just passionate about the good work he feels he does thru hypnosis.

That's the sad part. Mr. Guzzi is moving off the stage and moving to Hollywood so it could be a long time (if ever) before he comes back thru.

It's a fun show. Take your friends and go have a good time. Be open to the experience and don't worry about getting on stage. Your friends will be impressed with your bravery. And they WILL have a ton of questions to ask you.

Anywho, that's all I got besides Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was even BETTER the second time I saw it and I'm trying to get Cali to join me for my third time. Aeon Flux was ok... picked up at the end and some some nice stunt work... if you know the cartoon, you'll get a kick out of how they pull off some of the stuff and the story manages to make more sense than the show. Granted, it is still a bunch of silliness but it DOES make MORE sense than the old MTV cartoon. NArnia is this weekend!! Anyone wanna join me on Friday?

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Will and Jon go to GA. Part 1 - Getting there is half the fun

These are just the pics... I'll explain more in a seperate post later.

Yes, that IS a clown in a car. Bt, as Jon pointed out nervously and with sweat dripping from his worried brow, not a "Clown car"!!!


Found Drury Lane. No Muffin Man, though, dammit!


This is apparently where we were going... even though we didn't KNOW that heading out. It's up around King's something in GA. Bay? Land? I lost track. It's a marsh and everything smells like fish.


Yeah, THIS is the name of the place!! Write it down... there was some cool shit AROUND it that we are supposed to be going back to see and snap later in the month!


This is Jon carrying his tripod and cameras and such. Oh, wait. I was carrying one of his cameras. That's me... Jax Sherpa!!

Will and Jon go to GA. Part 2 - Marshy, Marshy, Marshy!

This is another shot of the sign so you will remember where we are.


Jon is just a much more artistic photographer than I am. I just take a camera and get the image I want to remember. He actually has TOOLS and TALENT to make the shit look good. The bastard!


For example, THIS is the gazebo thingy we were going to be under to take some pics.


This is the stuff off to the side of the walkway.


I call this one "Thoom! Thoom! Thoom!"

(Just messing with ya, Jon. You know I love ya!)

Will and Jon go to GA. Part 3 - Is it getting dark out here or is it just me?

Still up at that gazebo, looking out on the marsh. (And lookin' mighty fine, I might add... except the darkness and my vandyke make me look chinless.)


This is the view out of the gazebo back down the walkway. Ooooooh.


This is some of the trash people have thrown off the thing since apparently the two trash cans inside the gazebo aren't enough. Aaaaaaah.


This is some of the excessive scribblings all over the wood. Hmmmmmmmm.


Look at the time and focus Jon puts into his pics!! I was just walking around, snapping pics. Sweeeeeeeeeet.

Hopefully, he will come on here and either post some or give us all a link to the pics he took! I know they are awesome!! Plus, he got the pic of the two of us that I want a copy of!